Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.
He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, angry, hurt, sadness, and rage all at the same time. His suffering has ended. Mine has begun. It has been transferred to me, I have gladly taken it. His suffering was because of hate, others people’s twisted desires. My suffering is because I care for him. This is not the first friend I have lost to suicide. I know my sadness and sorrow will turn. It will turn into joy for having known him and being apart of his life. I will remember something good or funny about him and it will make me smile or let out a chuckle. Until then, I will take the hurt.
Rest in peace my friend. You are missed
11 comments
hugs
I am so sorry for you – and your friend – I hope he is at peace, but this is something I fear may happen to me – losing a friend that I made on here – Its so difficult to try to heal someone else’s pain – and I guess really we can’t do that – but I try, as I’m sure you tried. Prayers for you
Sending condolences for your loss
I’m sorry for your loss and hope things get better. <3
You seem very strong. You’ll get through this. I know the feeling that he felt and I am sure he is in a much better place. Stay strong.
I’m sorry for your loss, 1dimple. I hope things will get better soon.
*hugs* please feel better.
Thank you 1dimple.
You guys know each other?
Not that I know of. But I’m glad he is so understanding and that he is that much of a good friend. I only wish I had one like it. To pretty much say exactly what he is saying now.
Hopefully they are free now.