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lonely Saturday night

by lonelyguy91

it sucks having no real friends 🙁 I love all the people I meet in the internet, here, but at the end of the day we are alone. I live in a big city and its depressing. everyone has a great life and knowing I don’t its depressing. my so called friend called me a ‘deppresive person’ . I told him my story and it seems he doesn’t understand. I feel so alone. suicide I want that that carbon monoxide. im thinking about it over and over again. what do you believe after death? what are your beliefs? I’ve been told suicide is sin and very bad. but I dk 🙁 suicide is tempting, im slipping away again. I bet someone here can relate

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theWhispersOfMySins 8/29/2015 - 10:00 pm

I am an atheist. Which also leads me think that if the only existence I will ever know is this life than I should try to hang on and live it the best I can. Just my beliefs and I am only stating as u asked. I think you should believe what feels right inside to you. I also think it can maybe get better if you hang there. Yes online friends are not the same as real life ones on a lonely night but its better than nothing. And maybe you will meet that special person online somewhere.

lonelyguy91 8/29/2015 - 10:04 pm

I love my online friends. I don’t take them for granted. neither you guys. I may not know most of the people here, but we’re in this together. and I feel grateful for talking to you beautiful people 🙂 its just depressing. I feel so left out. misunderstood and alone. its one of those many depressing weekends 🙁

October_rain 8/29/2015 - 10:06 pm

I’m grateful for this place too.

Mf 8/29/2015 - 10:09 pm

Weekends are the worst (right up there with holidays and birthdays), but they don’t have to be. I’m pretty lonely myself (even on week days), but you can do things to keep yourself busy. Having hobbies helps (and at times they get you to meet other people as well). You could also try to meet one of those online friends in real life (if you have one close to you). Just today, i just realized i spend most of the day playing a videogame (seriously… 6 hours went by without me noticing it) so weekend is almost over, lol.

And about your friend calling you a depressive person… well, you have to be there to understand how it really is, and he might not realize how it would affect you to hear that. Sorry you had to go through that.

lonelyguy91 8/29/2015 - 10:21 pm

yeah I have hobbies but I just miss my younger years. going on dates, or hanging out with my high school friends. they all left. all of that is gone. im feeling very nostalgic. that also brings depression. as for my ”friend” I feel misunderstood. he is 3 years younger than me. he is very happy go lucky(since his life is almost perfect). it just makes me angry. no sympathy for me 🙁 never . im glad there are people like you guys who can relate

copelessness 8/30/2015 - 12:38 am

I tend to just fall in and out of sleep these days on the weekends. Like you, I wish I was younger again too, but I didn’t hang out with friends outside of school nor go on dates. I still wish I was younger though. I’d feel like I at least had a chance yet.
The one friend I have locally sometimes wants to do stuff but he also owes me a lot of money so I think some of it he is just doing because he feels obligated (though I’ve never made him feel that he should be).
All my other real friends are online, most I met through here. That’s why I sit alone in a Denny’s at 11:29pm eating a meal Morris would appreciate. I figured I should at least try to get out of my apartment even though I didn’t want to. Plus, I didn’t have any food at home because I didn’t want to go to the store earlier since I always see happy people at the store. Denny’s was deserted so I went here. Once you are alone, you wish you were around people, but after a while, especially if you have social anxiety like me, you find that it’s hard to be around people and you always end up alone. It’s a self-perpetuating spiral downward… 🙁

1dimple 8/29/2015 - 10:14 pm

I’m usually alone on most nights. Creating helps me to cope. Creating anything helps me feel self worth. Prose, a new part for a costume, a new song, clean laundry (It helps if you pretend you’re Tom Hanks in the seen from Castaway. YES! . . . LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE CREATED! . . . I HAVE MADE CLEAN CLOTHES! . . . I . . .I HAVE MADE CLEAN CLOTHES!)

Do you have any hobbies or interest?

lonelyguy91 8/30/2015 - 2:22 am

yeah im kinda a germaphobe hah. I just watch youtube most of the time lol. im really lazy!!

1bigzero 8/29/2015 - 11:16 pm

My Sat. night refuges? SP, youtube, beer.

1bigzero 8/29/2015 - 11:17 pm

Sucks being alone, esp. when you know that if someone else WAS around, they’d just annoy you to the point where you’d rather be alone. Talk about a paradox.

lonelyguy91 8/30/2015 - 2:25 am

yes! its such a contradiction I feel you there

Tharwata 8/30/2015 - 5:13 am

I am a Muslim .. I believe in Allah “God” .. and In my religion suicide means going to Hell.
I feel the loneliest girl in the world .. even tho I have so many people around me
I’ve cut my self before several times when I was 13 ,but never done it again in my life ,try to Ignore the fact that you need someone to be happy ,Be your own friend .. try new things it helped me at a point .. Do what you want to do no matter how impossible it sound to accomplish the activities you like to do Have a nice day.

disgusting 8/30/2015 - 5:32 am

Same here I’m n Chicago and not a soul willing to be with me. :'(

Trix 8/30/2015 - 5:36 am

There are a lot of lonely people hidden away in cities. I don’t have any real friends either nowadays (or many online), so I can relate. It’s not natural for a person to be alone often, but sadly those people are everywhere, especially in the biggest places.

I don’t believe in anything after death. Depression and ME have affected my brain so much that I already feel like I’m somewhere between life and death. I think your consciousness probably just fades away when you die. The idea of that used to sound terrifying to me. Then it became a dream, and now it just seems natural. I’ve reached an age where I realise from experience how much one person changes over time. Every part of you can be found in another place or person in the world. Ideally everyone would get their fair shot at life, but I’m not as unique as I once thought, and that makes life and death easier to deal with.

I don’t believe suicide is a sin. If you’re not harming somebody else, then no one has the right to tell you that you’ve done something wrong. Often it’s debatable whether it could even be called a choice.

I’m really tired, so apologies if the above ramble doesn’t make much sense. 🙂

mato42 8/30/2015 - 7:03 am

I don’t think there is much left after death, but I still like to talk to those who are no longer with us. I’m not an atheist but neither I am part of any religion. I doubt I make any sense right now… I can’t speak for any religion but one believer once told me, that if God wants to see him suffer, he doesn’t want such God and if God doesn’t understand him then he is no God to him. If you agree with his statement or whenever it is even true I don’t know and it’s up to you to decide. About the loneliness. I am in a city, in small apartment that I can hardly call my home with walls that are so sterile I feel like I’m at office. I’m all alone with one big bad day tomorrow. I do have friends, but they are far away with their busy life, with girlfriends and families and I hardly ever see them. Sometimes I wonder when I look outside from window how many people like us are out there and what are their stories.

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