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Not being sexist,but life sucks..mans view.

by johnwhogivesashit

Not being sexist but most men want a women that is slightly beneath them and I think relationships that have a clear order work best. Women follow and men are leaders. I suggest finding a man that is slightly above your own status, smarter than you by a hair, and respects you. You will get bored with a man that doesn’t keep you on your toes. I think it’s very important for a woman to have a strong man. All the miserable women Ive ever met were dominant over their man. A man that doesn’t have his balls isn’t a man. If you think he’s smarter and charming and a provider its always best. If your man is beneath you and you think you can get a better model that provides more or satisfies your needs it doesn’t work. Women as a rule lose respect for men they see as weak. The number one quality men look for in a long term mate is loyalty. Makes sense right? Why would a man want to spend his time money and resources caring for a women and the children they make together if he thinks she will leave? A happy women makes a happy man. Men are much easier to please. We just have a shorter list of needs. Why does the mating dance work this way just turn to nature. A woman that feels like she is below her man must invest and chase and is happy because she feels like she has a real catch a challenge. A woman above her man chases nothing loses interest and becomes cold and unhappy because she is unchallenged and her man becomes weak by submitting to her and unattractive. As long as you feel like you got better than your status allows you are happy.
The minute it flips you are unhappy. This is of course generalalites but by and large the rule. There are exceptions. Some men like dominate women and overweight ones too. But most men instinctively go for a women close to their status and attractive body wise. I’m all for women being equal. I think women can do almost any job a man could do except ones that require male strength. Focusing on being more masculine tho might be great for your career but generally is bad for dating. Pre 1960 to the beginning of time and still outside the western world women get this. The more masculine you become the less success and happiness you will have with relations. Men and women are differnt. We like to think of ourselves as being above animals yet our lives are ruled by the only meaning of life which is to reproduce. Men are trying to get sex and spreading genes. Women are trying to get commitment and status in case of pregnancy. It’s not men that call women sluts its other women primarily. Men like easy sex. For a partner tho they view it as bad because it increases the odds of her cheating and using limited resources on potential other men’s children. The amount of commitment a women can get for her sexual favor is lowered by other women giving it away cheaply. Thus women try to maintain their image as having few or no partners and shame the ones that do. Modern western society is a direct contradiction of evolutionary needs and thus the high divorce rate. Women today being sexually liberated and having more sex without having to raise a child because of birth control etc has in fact lowered the level of commitment women as a whole are able to get. High price of sex in the market makes for stronger more stable relationships where both parties stand to lose a lot. For men that being sex and positive reinforcement by his woman and for woman getting a higher price in commitment ie security emotinallly and financially. One would think everybody having more sex should make everybody happier but its the exact opposite as a whole. Divorce is over 50%

In conclusion abundant sex in society actually makes people less happy and probably results in more suicides. Hell does exist and you dont have to die to visit 😉 comments ?


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.. 8/23/2015 - 10:26 pm

I know you aren’t trying to be sexist, but this Is still sexist thinking. Personally, I don’t like gender roles and I believe our mostly patriarchal culture hurts and limits people of all genders.

ifuckedthequeen 8/23/2015 - 10:41 pm

yeah totally. fuck the patriarchy and labels, wooman. i really agree but my christianified mind is short circuiting by my rebellion against my born gender. built like adonis, heart like athena.

operationmintyhippo 8/23/2015 - 10:36 pm

I’m a woman and an accountant. I am smart and make pretty decent money for myself. I can take care of myself very well as a woman. I grew up in the country out on a farm, and I’m strong for a woman. I have a dominant personality, and would butt heads with a man over me making decisions because my slow woman brain can’t take care of myself.

Just because you day no sexism, doesn’t mean what you’ve said is not sexist. Like the above comment said, I see what you’re doing, but still sexist thinking.

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 12:51 am

I have the world’s smallest violin playing in the world’s smallest orchestra and it is playing just for you. It’s between these two periods .. I’m sure your small women brain doesn’t appreciate fine music so its totally wasted on you…. That’s such a knee jerk emotional reaction it belongs in a textbook. You are ruled by your emotions. You took something you disagree with and instead of logically debating it you used the lowest form of argument. Redirection and ridicule. Straw men don’t make good arguments. I’ll hear your actual arguement with pleasure. In fact I’m getting excited just thinking about it. I bet it’s a juicy rationalization. 1 a day keeps the crazy at bay 🙂

.. 8/24/2015 - 1:04 am

Wow… And you don’t think your a sexist prick?

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 1:28 am

That’s not being sexist that’s just being an asshole and repeating her own words. Don’t think it’s because she is a woman. Anybody that likes to be a smartass and their tone makes it sound like a pat on the back to them gets a little fire back. Imagine I had said that comment in a bored tone.

ifuckedthequeen 8/24/2015 - 5:07 am

dude youre a fuckin idiot. this thinking is why we dont have nice things

ifuckedthequeen 8/23/2015 - 10:43 pm

yaman. ur view is outdated. in my future i want a relationship defined by love. nothing else. no labels and no generalizations. women can be outstanding leaders brah. even better than men because of their social and emotional sensitivity. it wows me. when u rly allow urself to feel the frmale psyche. its wild.

ifuckedthequeen 8/23/2015 - 10:44 pm

i hate my sex. i hate it. men have royally fucked this world up. the lust for dominance and power. the need to control. its not all men. its just this patriarchal system is about to fall. it has to die. ur mindset is neanderthal

johnwhogivesashit 8/23/2015 - 11:26 pm

I was saying in the bedroom and relationships I believe women prefer the men to lead and direct the interaction and then they can say oh well it just happened when telling somebody how they met their husband. I’m just saying nothing just happens. Men are responsible for asking a girl out and seducing her and all but the most sexually liberated women do not want to be an accomplice to the seduction in their own mind because to do so might bring feelings of sluttyness or shame. Obviously both sexes want and enjoy sex but gender roles and societies expectations don’t allow women to be the one to make all the moves toward escalating the relationship from talking to sex to boyfriend/girlfriend and then marriage. All but the most liberated women wait for men to ask them out etc etc. I think when you realize that when a couple almost has sex the woman that doesn’t have it is often heard saying it just wasn’t meant to be etc etc. What it fact happened was that the man did not display all the right qualities and get her feeling comfortable and ready for such a thing or wasnt leading enough to make it happen. Sex doesn’t just happen. . A botched mating attempt is almost impossible to come back from. You see it in birds other animals etc. If it didn’t happen it must mean that the man is actually below her league and unworthy or it “would have just happened”.

Morris 8/23/2015 - 11:46 pm

@John; I get what you’re saying.
Here’s a secret that women don’t want you to know. They’re insane. All of them are batty, and they know that they’re crazy, but they want you to believe that they’re not. It has something to do with fallopian tubes, the womb, the uterus or ovaries. Not sure exactly, but they’re all a little nutty.
They want to be treated as equals but they know that won’t happen. They can be smart at times, but ultimately they’re just women. (Ever see a woman driver)?
Our job as men is to be nice to them, just like you’d be nice to a child or a mentally handicapped person. Women just don’t know any better. (Hope that wasn’t offensive).

.. 8/24/2015 - 12:14 am

Lol of course it’s offensive wtf…sexist and ableist bs

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 12:22 am

Lol being ruled by your emotions thanks to wildly fluctuating hormones is of course what separates men and woman and make them not equal. I think women are generally a lot more observant. We both have qualities that compliment each other. I think equality is a bad thing to shoot for. Really respect should be the goal. Plus I personally can’t respect a woman that demands that she be equal and treated like a man but has no problem flashing her boobs or sexual favors to get what she wants. I don’t respect anybody that’s a hypocrite man or woman.

zalien 8/24/2015 - 12:54 am

Were you aware that millions of men enjoy sending women dick pics so that the women will see them as a sex object (even if the woman had not previously indicated any sexual interest)?

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 1:21 am

Sending a dick pic is the lowest form of courting. That’s like me walking up to you on the street and saying hey you have a nice mouth I’d like to fuck. Look I think it will fit. It’s sad has no class or tact and ultimately doesn’t work! There are very few women that would be flattered by that or turned on by it even. You don’t say hey lets have sex you say bla bla bla that’s so interesting that you went to law school. You can dress up in trendy law attire all you want that angelic face doesn’t fool me for a second.:) or hey why do you like Starbucks so much? Bla bla coffee and I get to work on my papers in peace. Oh come on we both know that you just want an excuse to go pick up something cute next door at the Victoria secret. You know they play the same ten songs all day right !?

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 12:05 am

By no means am I saying women shouldnt be out there getting degrees and being CEO or even president. Some of the best things I’ve seen have come from women. I certainly do not have the mindset that a woman wants to submit or follow or even not lead at times. What I am saying is I think even with our enlightened western society the majority of women would prefer their man to be strong and leading. Think about the most enjoyable dates you had ? We’re they ones you planned or were they planned by the man and full of intrigue and mystery? How many woman would say that they want to plan the dates and be the ones to court men. Very few probably none but the most liberated women. I’m not saying women need to go back to the kitchen by an means. I’m just saying that they are fighting biological mechanisms that have been around longer than the concept of marriage even. When I say men prefer woman that submit I mean that they want a partner that backs them up and alines herself to support his ambitions. Couples need a balance of power. 2 people trying to steer a car doesn’t work very well. One person can drive and the other be the co caption but 2 people jerking the steering wheel doesn’t get far. Women choose a man they think will provide for them and their children. As long as they think that he is capable they are happy. I base my thoughts on relationships and sex on the animal kingdom cause and effect. It’s not that men don’t like strong women we do. A women that always submits is boring. The balence gets too far out of whack and then one person is seen as needy by the other which is unattractive. I think the simplest explaination is usually the correct one. Men and women says
lots of things they don’t mean. I’ve made an observation of the actions I have seen in my own relations and watching others. Words are wind actions are all that matter.

.. 8/24/2015 - 12:17 am

Women can do whatever the hell they want. Men can fuck off

zalien 8/24/2015 - 12:51 am

How would you term emotional men? Just curious. I’ve seen so many guys fly off the handle at the slightest comment they perceive as offensive (even resorting to physical violence). Ever wonder why so many male cops go ahead and unnecessarily shoot perpetrators (or “possible” suspects)?

.. 8/24/2015 - 12:59 am


johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 1:06 am

Emotional men are not actually men at all. A man that lets his emotions rule him is weak. The cop that shoots an unarmed kid or beats his wife or becomes out of control is doing all these things as a way to say hey even though Im just a small monkey I’ve got a dick too. Badge and a gun. It’s easy to steal candy from a baby or assault a woman a third your size and strength. He is trying to make sure everyone knows he has a dick. Real men have no need to display their dominance this way. That is beta behavior. A king may be the hardest working guy in his domain spending sleepless nights strategizing but because he sits on a throne and gives orders and has things come to him the law of least effort: appearing to get large results from very little effort is at play. A real man doesn’t need to assert his dominance. It’s readily apparent to everyone that has eyes. It’s like the cool kids in high school they make it seem effortless and easy to be so “cool” and therefore everyone wants to be their friend or go to the party or whatever. People and things come to the cool kids seemingly with very little effort expended on their own part.

Mf 8/24/2015 - 1:11 am

So much fail on a single post.

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 1:32 am

Epic fail? So its actually a win. Sweet

Mf 8/24/2015 - 1:38 am

Haha. Don’t get me wrong tho, everyone is entitled to having an opinion, but this topic in itself is bound to be pure fail, since gender-behavior-analysis=crapfest. Even if you do get your points across in a well presented manner it ends up being male vs female fodder almost every single time. Generalization galore aside, i do have to admit that many of the points you make are things i’ve seen happen.

zalien 8/24/2015 - 1:16 am

I think life would be easier for everyone if no one had emotions and they only did things in a logical manner. However, for some reason all humans were born experiencing emotion, even those who don’t want to admit it (like you, for instance). Rumor has it that one of the first leaders of Stoicism, Chrysippus, died from sustained laughter after viewing a situation he found very funny. Moral of the story? Feel what you want, don’t bottle it up, but you can learn to control yourself so that your emotions do not cause you to act in detrimental ways. Emotions come and go, so you should never make possible life-altering decisions because of a “feeling”.

zalien 8/24/2015 - 1:20 am

A lot of kings in history were complete A-holes. There were a few commendable guys but none come to mind right now. A king who wants to be king already has an inferiority complex, so he wants to prove to the masses how great he actually is. Just because you’re in a position of power doesn’t mean you deserve it or that it enhances your status as a human being.

ifuckedthequeen 8/24/2015 - 1:42 am

fucking cops. theyre takin me to hospital. fuck this.

joinel 8/24/2015 - 6:01 am

just be good looking, brah!

johnwhogivesashit 8/24/2015 - 4:06 pm

Dude I’m a 6’2 blonde blue eyed dude with a smile that melts iron. I just need to get my weight down. Tall handsome blue eyes. Ive had many women tell me this. Women love blue eyes. Some people win the genetic lottery. Plus I’m strong and have a commanding presence. Ive never been told I’m boring. When I get to talking to girls they open like a clam. Once I get my appearence in line with everything else I’ll be having to hold them back. My grandfather was built like me. If I get in shape I’ll have women literally throwing themselves at me just like my grandfather.

impossible_girl 8/26/2015 - 1:51 pm

1. If I want a male with an ego like the ones being displayed here, I’ll get a male cat. Excuse me while I sit back and wait for the inevitable crazy cat lady “insults”.
2. There are plenty of incredibly nice-looking males out there. And then they start speaking/typing. Wow, do they become unattractive fast! The man I love has about 50 more pounds than he did when I met him and almost a full head less hair, and he’s the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen, because he’s also attractive on the inside. Amazing, I know, a male that doesn’t rely on looks alone.
3. Emotional men are weak? Please see http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/men-and-their-emotions.
4. “If I get in shape I’ll have women literally throwing themselves at me just like my grandfather.” — Will they be holding hot pokers, by any chance?

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 2:38 pm

I thought about just banning your comment but then I remembered I value freedom in all its forms more than i hate comments designed to antagonize and provoke. Interesting article BTW. Frankly I’m a complete douche on the internet and I know that. If I acted like this in person I would be very alone.

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 2:48 pm

I guess I just get nasty when women respond with their feelings. I have a lot of respect for women and defiantly don’t think myself or my gender superior. It’s just a general trend I see. Women argue emotionally and men argue logically. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised when I write my views taking care to be diplomatic about it and yet still get the knee jerk us vs them answers and bla bla bla. Scathing sarcasm. I see exactly why it happens. When a view challenges an emotional persons worldview they respond by trying to provoke feeling in the one challenging it. It’s almost like whoever has the most emotional response wins somehow. Far from sexist. I wish things were equal. What makes me come off as an asshole is because I feel like this is classic animal farm. All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. An emotional answer to a logical question is infuriating.

Trix 8/26/2015 - 3:19 pm

Well, of course people are going to answer emotionally when you start telling them everything their gender wants in life.

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 10:16 pm

I really wasnt. I thought it was pretty clear I was making a hypothesis,but I guess not. I have the benift of knowing my own state of mind and defiantly would not prosume to tell anybody how they feel until I’ve walked more than a few miles in their shoes. Like any good scientist I’m just as happy when I’m wrong. I just wanted to debate and maybe that got lost in my train of thought. There are a thousand ways not to make a light bulb. All are learning experiences. I like being wrong. It means I learn something and id always rather learn than teach or as you say preach

Trix 8/28/2015 - 2:26 pm

Well, I respect you for not just insisting that you’re right. When you discounted that comment, it sounded like you didn’t want to hear anyone else’s point of view (particularly a woman’s).

Trix 8/28/2015 - 2:37 pm

Out of interest, because you mentioned women arguing emotionally and men logically… are you one of those people who think that women tend to make their decisions based on emotions more often, and men more often on logic? I always wonder about this, given statistics of rape, violence etc.

johnwhogivesashit 8/31/2015 - 7:59 am

Um, yes definitely. It’s really not that sexist. It’s a fact of biology. A woman’s body is constantly changing to prepare for pregnancy. Hormone levels and mood are heavily influenced. Everybody is regulated by brain chemicals. There is a reason people take drugs. The human body can make you feel all kinds of different things subconsciously. I think just like anybody that gets upset or excited its a response to stimuli. What boggles me is the number of women that willingly play the victim. You mentioned rape. Why do so many women not report being raped? Of course they don’t want to be labeled or shamed because of it but still I would think logically if I was raped I’d want the bastard to rot in jail for a long time and never have the opportunity to rape again and justice would make me feel good. I think women also tend to be less assertive about getting raises they deserve. Why give a raise to somebody I can pay less that doesn’t speak up about it and will take my shit if I can save the company some money? I know a lot of women that silently look to be acknowledged for their efforts instead of putting it in front of a manager and gloating about it for lack of a better word. I’d say a 1/3 of the wage gap is male management being sexist, a 1/3 corporate strategy to save billions of dollars in wages, and a 1/3 women’s failure to assert their successes to management. As a group women wait to be appreciated instead of doing the peacock strut men have learned to do as part of mating saying hey look over here I’m super valuable look what I can provide. Modesty doesn’t exactly help. As I said lots of men are sexist and feel threatened when a women enters the competition for provider a typically male role. A women with resources of her own is less impressed by and values that security less which threatens his role as bacon earner. On the flip side of this attractive women actually get more interviews on an exponential curve the more attractive they are even when interviewed by female and male hiring managers alike. Why would straight women value beauty and respond just like a man that might be trying to position himself closer to potentially better mates? Then for men its pretty much a flat line regardless of how ugly or attractive. Why do men and women both value femine beauty so highly? This and other insights are in a post from one of the ok cupid founders. Real data from millions of people not surveys. By and large I think male sexism makes sense when considered in a biological sense. If a males job is to provide the fertilizer for the egg what else is he necessary for when the women can go out and get her own security to raise the child on her own. The rise of single mothers is very interesting. A 100 years ago that was considered crazy or unwise. Having a child is a dangerous expensive proposition. So if men provide but their role is threatened they would feel less relevant and try to protect that interest by either raising themselves up or pushing somebody else down. There’s a reason they call it climbing the corporate ladder. A lot of people get tossed under the bus so to speak.

Trix 8/31/2015 - 8:14 am

A lot of the time when they don’t report it it’s because they think there’s no point, as they have nothing to identify the person with. There are all kinds of psychological factors which I don’t think belong purely to females – they’re just attacked more often. But it’s the same with abuse, which affects males a lot too. Lots of cases go unreported.

I don’t know. Maybe because they’re brought up to be politer. Got to say, I don’t think the differences between wages has anything to do with women not being assertive enough.

I think most of your ideas are based on the idea that women are yearning for children and men are yearning to be powerful providers. Whatever figures or biological facts you throw out there, I don’t see those gender distinctions at all around me.

And as for men making more decisions based on logic… well, I think that’s bollocks. Like I said, biology is a starting point for certain issues in society, but it doesn’t excuse all sexism.

operationmintyhippo 8/28/2015 - 3:25 pm

Women don’t always respond “emotionally.” Believe it or not, there is a lot of logic in our rebuttals and some emotion. We respond as a human, not a robot. Women can’t help it when men go ahead an assume “Oh, it’s her emotions talking, it’s okay to snub her and talk to her like she’s slow or lesser.” My above comment was just shooting down all your hypotheses. I do not fit any of your views, and I am only one woman. Maybe you should find a different point to look from, because this one you’re on now can’t see the whole picture.

“Emotional men are not actually men at all.” Wow, that’s news to me. My boyfriend does have emotions. He’s had a rough upbringing and has every right to be emotional. I can vouch he’s very much a man, too. He’s there for me and supportive, as I am him. He sees me as an equal to him, as he is equal to me. He is a great man who does not put himself above me. He doesn’t have a head bigger than his shoulders, which you’ve made it very clear you do.

“I’m a 6’2 blonde blue eyed dude with a smile that melts iron.” You don’t say. I cannot believe ladies aren’t drooling all over you yet. I men you’ve got the looks, apparently. Maybe what’s hindering your search is your cinder block of a personality. Women don’t find you boring, they probably find you appalling and continue talking to tell you how very wrong you are about things. Are these always the conversations you have with them? About how you don’t think you’re superior (but, obviously, you are). Or how amazing looking and great of a “man” you are because you’ve never felt anything emotionally in your life? You are the reason I chose someone with black hair and green eyes. Because, stereo-typically, blonde hair blue-eyed people always end up like you. Such an ugly personality to go with that face.

I honestly FEEL bad for you.

johnwhogivesashit 8/31/2015 - 8:05 am

I see you made feel capitalized so that must be the only important thing you had to say right? Jk
I don’t enjoy talking to you. It makes me FEEL things I’d rather not so I’m disengaging. Have a nice life ?

Trix 8/26/2015 - 3:12 pm

If you’re serious, I feel really sorry for you. I hope you’re not one of the men trying to find a woman less intelligent than him, because for someone so thoughtful you’re amazingly narrow-minded. Most of your post is generalising to ridiculous extremes. The only part I might agree with is “Women today being sexually liberated and having more sex without having to raise a child because of birth control etc has in fact lowered the level of commitment women as a whole are able to get.” You seem to be assuming the whole of womankind is looking for long-term commitment. In my experience I haven’t noticed women to be any more interested in it than men. But if people had fewer relationships (sexual or otherwise), they’d probably value their relationships and partners more and people would stay together longer.

I’ve never met a woman who has tried to make out they’ve had fewer or no partners. I don’t know many men who are looking for a woman that’s beneath them. I can think of one couple where the guy comes off as smarter, and one relationship where the woman does. I know one man who talks explicitly about finding someone ‘stupid’, and he hasn’t been in a relationship for years.

A woman doesn’t have to feel she’s beneath a man to be happy with him or feel value in the relationship. Some will, but definitely not in general.

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 11:04 pm

No Infact I think a lot of women maybe even a majority are no longer as interested in getting married or having serious relationship young and it becomes a concern more so as a woman ages and starts thinking about her biological clock and therefore makes settling down an increasing priority. If you look up an okcupid data set that is quite interesting. Not a survey but actual matching results from millions of users show that for men the ideal age for them to date is essentially 20 across the board as they age and for women it is generally within a year of her own age and older and then it switches at 30 and women tend to choose men within a year of their own age except younger. It reverses. This essentially proves my hypothesis that dating is ruled more by biology than choice. Men looking for a partner that would make the most healthy babies and the energy to care for them and women picking men with stronger sperm. After 30 mens sexual energy goes down with falling hormone levels and quality of said sperm. I think men and women have equally embraced the sexual revolution and effective birth control to a point where most of the risks of getting pregnant have been eliminated if used effectively as directed . I think the transition from sex being primarily a way to make babies first and pleasurable second to a reality where for most people I would say it has moved to pleasure being the first concern and pregnancy an afterthought. Or at least not the serious risk it once was. Back before modern medicine pregnancy was truely playing russian roullete and therefore more serious and also causing a higher price for sex and therefore stronger more stable relationships. Liberated people of course dont care what how or who has sex or even how often. I’m just saying that if I was an animal and I knew I could have a better chance at getting a mate that the idea of slut shaming makes sense in that I can lower an competitors long term mate value by making her reputation suffer therby boosting my own value as a person that has less sex or at least less publicly than a women that gets a repution for giving easy “cheap” sex. Aka less emotional reasuorces or finite resources that might be spend on a long term mate and children to pass on genes. Society puts a women as the final gatekeeper of her own body and having multiple partners in general would probably also result in more sex disease and perhaps an idea that such a person can’t or doesn’t want to be monagomous as well as alluding to the possibility that a baby could be from a different partner and no man wants to use finaite reasuorces on somebody else’s genetic code at least from a biological stance. Obviously we have step children and blended families that work quite well. It’s more complex than just one or even a couple effecting factors. I think as far as what i said about being beneath is the wrong language. The best matches being people that are more similar than not including intelligence. I just mean that I think its important that men and women both see each other as having more value than themselves to the relationship. As long as both think they have a good catch that meets their needs there is no need to think about other options and cheating. Just as in business it is more costly to get a new customer than it is to keep an existing one. My revised statement being that it’s important that both partners but especially women think that their partner is an awesome catch and feel emotionally close to them and understood. Women file for devorice much more often than men and its easy to see why. If my biological function was to get the best gentic code and resources possible and im not happy with my needs emotionally finacially and physically then it makes a lot more sense for a woman to move on than a man. Woman are customers to the security a man offers in case of pregnancy. Thus for a man that has a committed partner willing to have his children and of good enough stock would be more invested in keeping a customer rather than finding a new one and a woman being a customer with better options would move on to a better options. It’s a man’s job to satisfy all his woman’s needs more so than for her to satisfy all his needs. He has more invested in her staying in the long term and not finding a better mate. In order for her to be happy she needs to feel invested. Close to her partner and as though she has the best product she can have. When I stop thinking the original iPhone is the best thing since sliced bread then I go out and get a new Samsung whatever if I think I deserve it and can afford doing so. I think when you think in biological terms sexism becomes more like Darwinism. Or at least a lot less desitguishable than one would initially assume.

zalien 8/26/2015 - 11:20 pm

So you’re a guy who’s been dumped by most of his girlfriends because they called you an “emotionally unavailable asshole”? I feel you man.

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 11:39 pm

If the simple answer was that I’d be inclined to agree. I am in touch with my emotions so I unlike a lot of men am not blindsided by stressors deterorating a relationship. I listen more than I talk. That’s all somebody has to do to be more emotionally aware. There’s a lot more to be gained gathering new info than spreading existing info.

zalien 8/26/2015 - 11:46 pm

Do you seek out monogamous relationships, or are you more into “serial womanizing”?

johnwhogivesashit 8/27/2015 - 12:32 am

I personal!y think that sex without love is pretty boring so I’d put myself in the boat of monagamous. I don’t have a desire for multiple partners. I’d rather have one that I love and that loves me back. Loving somebody for real vs lust is like the difference between 3 day old McDonalds and a 100 dollar steak at a fancy restaurant. Long after price is forgotten quality is remembered. I prefer expensive things over cheap in every aspect of my life. Anything worth having doesn’t come easy. Good things aren’t cheap and cheap things aren’t good. Not always true but generally so. For instance nathans hot dogs at cooney island at the turn of the century sold a premium all beef hotdog for 5 cents when competitors were selling inferior meat parts for 10 cents. The stand almost went out of business. It had the best product at the best price yet people thought it !ust not be good. So they offered doctors free hotdogs to eat at the place in their white labcoats and raised the price to 10 cents and business exploded. If you give away a great product at too cheap a price people of course assume it must not be very good. Cheap is bad expensive is good. Easy is bad challenge is good. So you see how a “slut” for instance might be a great product. Marriage material but by making the price too cheap people assume that it must not be very good to have or even want if it is so cheap and easy to get.

Trix 8/28/2015 - 2:18 pm

If dating is ruled more by biology, then why don’t women look for younger men as well? Within a year of their own age but younger is completely different to an average of 20. Definitely agree that pregnancy is an afterthought and that’s hugely changed the way relationships work.

I think you phrased it better this time, although I don’t think (in general) women or men need to feel their partner is ‘better’ – but (like you said) that they have a good catch.

Interesting that women file for divorce more. Somehow I haven’t come across that before. I think part of it could be that women tend to have more pressure on them as they’re aging – to stay looking young, to have children quickly, etc. It’s more of an issue for them, so they might think about the future more and be more likely to realise their relationship doesn’t offer what they want long-term. I’m not sure women are ‘customers to the security a man offers in case of pregnancy’. It must depend in great deal on the society. I just don’t see many relationships like that around me. I think women (men too) tend to rely on their partners emotionally more than anything else.

There are plenty of differences between sexes, but society adds a ridiculous amount to them. I think you should realise there’s a reason women might respond to your thoughts emotionally. You should listen to their ideas more and look less at the figures. Trends are only trends, and they can be vague. When you look at individual people and relationships you realise how diverse they are.

johnwhogivesashit 8/28/2015 - 2:40 pm

Because a man can impregnate a women to ages as high as above 80 years old. It makes sense that she would want a man that has vitality and is similar in age and maturity goals and life position. Her concern being more compatible for long term success over the male drive to have children with a 20 year old which is perfect child bearing age. After 20 its all down hill and after 30 even more so. Women that wait to have children later in life have more birth defects and miscarriages and pregnancy becomes more dangerous and taxing on the body. You are living for 2. It’s why women that have 12 kids are usually very depleted. It takes a lot out of you to have children. Have you ever heard of lazlos hierarchy of needs ? Security is the first concern for anybody. Food shelter water etc. Security is a huge concern. Then you can focus on higher needs like emotions and goals etc. Of course it’s not always obvious that relationships are effected by biology but it is a driving force and an undercurrent. Nobody needs to teach you how to have sex it just comes naturally. As a couple gets turned on the more they become in sync physically and emotionally and spiritually. For instance after sex women’s bodies realase oxytocin. A potent brain chemical that causes bonding. Skin to skin contact. So when women cuddle with their man and have skin contact it causes bonding. There are a vast number of chemicals and body processes you don’t even think about that further the species as a whole.

As for divorce women file for divorce 3 times more than men and excluding infidelity and other breaks of trust a loss of closeness is said to be the main reason. The need to feel understood and appreciated is strong for both parties but as I said men tend to be less in tocuh with their emotions and not put in the work required to keep emotions excited. A relationship always needs to move fprward. If it stagnates it becomes boring to both and as I said the cost of having a wife leave his man is much higher for him than her especially if she isn’t beholden to him for resources because she makes her own money or finds a better mate. A man has a lot of time invested as well as resources to raise his children and support his wife. And he is getting more sex on a regular basis without having to risk std from other partners and all the costs associated with courting someone else. If either man or womans needs aren’t met they divorce or cheat. Now you of course need to factor in free will. That puts a wrench in the whole thing. My biology may tell me desperately to stay alive and reproduce but I can choose to blow my head off whenever I want. Sentient beings complicate the matter and its really all that separates us from animals. Being able to contemplate your own existence and make actions contrary to instict.

Trix 8/28/2015 - 6:14 pm

Some can, but younger men have a much better chance. Biologically speaking it would make much more sense to go for them. Look at the Spartans – they persuaded women with older husbands to sleep with younger men to keep their society flourishing. Sure, biology is a huge driving force. Not arguing with any of that. To be honest, I think a lot of the difference over the ages they look for is just based on sexism. People look down on a woman who dates a younger man, but men easily get away with dating women whose bodies can still be developing. It’s not just biology speaking. It’s exaggerated to the point where it’s usually double standards without any good reasoning behind it. Biology is a starting point for certain issues in society, but there’s plenty of sexism it can’t excuse.

Diablo 8/26/2015 - 11:16 pm

Weyull, first off I will start by saying you are horribly close minded and need to have more experience within this stuff to be able to make a hard judgement like those. Also saying “The more masculine you become the less success and happiness you will have with relations” is completely idiotic. It’s within yourself to allow such a thing to effect you in whatever way. Because a women is “masculine” does not make you any less attractive or successful. I don’t know if you’re only aiming this towards straight people but what do you have to say for all lesbians? Are they less attractive because they choose to hold testosterone? If so i can say I disagree hugely

johnwhogivesashit 8/26/2015 - 11:34 pm

I am not expressing my own views so much as i am repeating what surveys have shown which is that the majority of hetero sexual men value femine qualites more than masculine ones and vise versa for women. Oviosuly there are outliers that go toward either extreme. Im just saying it is a fact that more hetero sexual men prefer a woman to display femine qualites over masculine when searching for a mate No I’m talking about hetero relationships. I haven’t taken the time to think about the mechics of same sex people. Personally my theory is that homosecuality is evolutions solution to overpopulation and limited resources. If a segment of people are able to get the emotional and financial benefits as well as security of a relationship together but not have children it compensates for a overtaxed system. 7+ billion people and counting is a lot of mouths to feed. Of course this is just pure speculation. I’m not close minded I just believe the simplest answers aka biology often better explain data sets we would perhaps prefer to put in the constrains of biased sociatal exectations. Just because we want 2+2 to equal 5 doesn’t mean we can make it so with a juicy rationalization. I’m just following trains of logic. If you can point out the specific flaws in my logic then I’d love to learn something?

Trix 8/28/2015 - 2:22 pm

Evolution doesn’t understand overpopulation. People have always been gay – there’s only a rise in gay relationships being accepted. Plenty of animals are too. As far as gender goes, 1 in 100 people aren’t born with standard male or female bodies. Sometimes people want to categorise more than nature.

johnwhogivesashit 8/31/2015 - 8:12 am

It’s particularly interesting how many combos there are. Xy xx, XXX, xyy,xxy idk maybe it’s just part of evolution and not really odd or wrong maybe even necessary to further the species. Idk

Trix 8/31/2015 - 8:18 am

It’s less odd than people think. Almost all people whose gender is ambiguous are brought up to live as a male or female, so people just don’t realise the extent of it. This is what I mean – biologically people are usually one or the other, but it’s society that feels the need to separate them so carefully and keep them and emphasise their differences.

johnwhogivesashit 9/4/2015 - 3:52 am

I’m sure people have always been gay and straight and bisexual as well. Im sure the impression there are more gays today than in the past is a direct relation to accepting this preference. I just wonder if you had a bunch of people living in a dome if same sex or bi sexuality would increase over time to prevent extra births that might tax resources. Is it a combination of nature and nurture? Or just one or the other and if so which ? As far as I remember as a child before puberty I had no interest in males or females either way. people were just people. I liked girls and enjoyed their company but had no thoughts of mating same with boys. Now that I’m an adult I am attracted to women and don’t find attraction in men at all. I’m sure that just as I am what I am gay and bisexual people are the same. My question tho is whether this preference is nature or maybe nurture? Some animals can actually change their sex from male to female when in an environment lacking one or the other. I wonder if environment turns on gentic predisposition to gay or bisexual. In terms of evolution I would think that population control would be the only logical reason for a species to have sex with other members of the same sex exclusively or part of the time. Then again maybe it’s for the pleasure of it. So many factors I’d be interested to know for sure. If more people choose to not reproduce than to reproduce the species wouldn’t last long. It’s just like eating people. In the long run its unfeasible for cannabilism to be 100% of the population. A person would need to eat more people to sustain themselves than can be naturally reproduced. Will there ever be solent green.? No not for long anyway it’s just not sustainable.

geekinthepink 8/31/2015 - 9:17 am

Are you serious?

Somebody Insignificant 8/31/2015 - 11:07 am

I can not believe it. Time travel is real. Someone in the 1940’s has a computer and is fucking with us. People are people. Generalizations can not be made based on whether someone is male or female. Many males have what are generally considered to be more feminine qualities and many women possess what are considered to be masculine qualities. Discounting them by saying they are not true males or true females is simply a cop out. Male and female is not black and white, There are numerous chromosomal abnormalities. So a male with Klienfelter is simply not a real male.

Gender, typically described in terms of masculinity and femininity, is a social construction that varies across different cultures and over time. There are a number of cultures, for example, in which greater gender diversity exists and sex and gender are not always neatly divided along binary lines such as male and female or homosexual and heterosexual. The Berdache in North America, the fa’afafine (Samoan for “the way of a woman”) in the Pacific, and the kathoey in Thailand are all examples of different gender categories that differ from the traditional Western division of people into males and females. Further, among certain North American native communities, gender is seen more in terms of a continuum than categories, with special acknowledgement of “two-spirited” people who encompass both masculine and feminine qualities and characteristics. It is apparent, then, that different cultures have taken different approaches to creating gender distinctions, with more or less recognition of fluidity and complexity of gender.

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