Should I take the razor again? Should I bang my head against the wall again? Should I think of suicide again?
Why is life unfair to me? On and on I kept asking. Could it be due to my ignorance, my defiance? But it is still an open question for me, with more questionable answers. I have survived this long by embedding into my mindset that life is unfair and I must accept it. But I am asking again now… Why? Why is there nothing to do to but accept? Why must someone born to be so broken? Why must someone’s path be so crooked?
The dark path is lying there in the corner of my mind, so easy, so simple, so enticing. “Come on, you have an exit! Just grab the razor and the bug spray again! Resort to me, I’m always here for you”.