I don’t get it! I guess it’s a control thing. Society wants to keep terminally ill or mentally ill patients alive, yet abandon them. I seen it in my personal life and in others.
i want to focus on the mentally ill for this rant….
If your mentally ill, your friends will leave you, loved ones will blame you, you will be judged, ostricised, and forced into social isolation. But if you try to commit suicide and they find out, they will come back around just long enough to send the white coat fascist after you and lock you up against your will as if your a criminal.
In the psyche ward (I NEVER BEEN TO ONE just to be clear), the white coat fascists will feed you line after line of bullshit. They will say things like “your life matters” or “you have value” and “there’s still hope” And “if you commit suicide, not only are you gonna hurt yourself, but your gonna hurt the ones you love” yada yada yada.
THEN once you are released, your “friends” and “loved ones” will come back into your life just long enough give you a stern lecture and tell you how stupid you was for planning or trying to attempt suicide and how badly it “scared” them and how much “they need you” in there lives”………………..then they abandon you again, your forced into social isolation, and the cycle continues and your back to square one.
i know how shit works man! Human nature is deceptively evil and pointless. Humanity if a wolf pack – show one ounce of weakness or vaunrability and you will be eaten alive on this big blue ball of bullshit.
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I also want to share some self experiences that conferm my evidice. PLEASE read this because it’s very important and will help give insight on how much of a sham life and human nature really is.
When I was a child, I was a very nervous, shy kid with severe ADHD and PTSD due to the chaos I experienced from age 2 to 13. i was sent to a psychologist and a counsiler. Instead of addressing family issues and the causalities of my behavior, they put me on medication that zombified me, and made it out to be like it was all my fault. Psychiatrists and counsilers won’t blame an abusive mom or dad for the behaviors of a kid because they don’t want to lose a patient. There basically vocal hookers. There could have been a lot of things these “counsilers” and “teachers” could have recommended – family therapy, getting me to be more active, meditation etc. but they don’t care enough to recommend that.
I was also labeled as learning disabled (ha that rhymed). In fact, I wasn’t. How can you learn in school when homelife is in shambles? I also had a knack of teaching myself things I was curious and interested in and did a damn good job at it too. But since it wasn’t the way the wolf pack wanted, they deemed me slow. Br. Phone I’ll type more later
It’s far easier to apply a topical treatment than to address the root.
With this site being a huge exception, I been to groups with depression and anxiety. They talked smack about my problems even though there problems where worse or just as fucking bad. They couldn’t stand my “negativity” when they where just as if not more negative. I use to befriend people online, even had “relationships” with a few of em. Then I went under an assumed name and was told how they really felt about me. Fucking brutal!
I remember this one ***** named Michelle. We “online dated” for a week until she got back with her boyfriend. Under an assumed name, she called me an emotional basket case. Ok let’s recap – the first deep conversation we had was when I talked her down from a severe panic attack. She would drink and cut her legs. She also had two kids she never watched. Under an assumed name I asked why “he” was an emotional basket case – she said “he has anxiety and addicted to food and I have kids and I don’t want him eating everything”. First off, I told the dumb ***** that I was a food addict but it was under control. She was about as heavy as I was.
I got example after example of this shit! As Tool (band) lyrics goes………it’s a bullshit three ring circus side show!
About the food thing, I eat too much. I don’t set there all day and fucking gorge myself. I’d be 1000 pounds if that was the case. I’m 6″2 and weigh 295
It’s a sociological paradox. I think it is similar to society in general wanting life to be preserved and encourages people to get help but yet doesn’t want to be the one who offers help (or ongoing support).
Society in general is a social experiment gone tragically wrong. Yes, there are glimpses that are exceptions.
Couldn’t agree more! I think humanity as a w(h)ole is so out of wack in there thought processes, there CULTure and there “normal” brain chemistry, that they haven’t reached the depths of understanding that we have. True pain causes people to go insane and gain intelligence at the same time in a lot of ways. The arrogant and ignorant majority tries so hard to force the traumatized minority to fit inside there tiny little boxes. As for me, I am just a piece of a puzzle in society. Unfortunately I tried all my life to find where my puzzle piece fits to no avail.
This world is not filled with Da Vincis. I remember onetime when I was 14 I ran out of my class room crying because I had a panic attack. The dumbass vice principle slammed the door behind me, and threatened to take me to a school for out of control children who are violent (forgot the name of the school), and be forced to speak to the superintendent. I never had violent behavioral problems and the dumb ***** knew i had anxiety. Of course when I was bullied to a pulp, miss Francsis or the principle never punished them and often blamed me! Onetime I was sitting in school and this guy just came and slammed my books on the ground and got in my face, I balled my fist up, and tapped his shoulder with it. I got suspended. I got bullied and picked on and nobody cared. They said just ignore it. By the time I got to high school I was so angry and messed up over it that I finally did develop behavioral problems to “show them”. I’d pick on the teachers and make fun of them openly in class. When they got upset I said “just ignore it, that’s what you fucks always told me to do, follow your own example), I’d vandalize the school and didn’t care if I got suspended or not, ILL SHOW THOSE HYPOCRITICAL MOTHERFUCKERS,
I raised total hell in high school in 10th and 11th grade and became a loner. If people wasn’t going to validate or help than I was going to be a pain in the ass for the school staff. The teachers had the gall to call me anti social when the schools I went to was acting anti social towards me. I was bullied relentlessly from 3rd grade till 8th. I had enough! I was bullied some in high school. Drove me nuts! I’d call in fake bomb reports and all kinds of stuff. I’d cry myself to sleep every night and take out my anger on the establishment that abandoned me along time ago by day.
Teachers tolerating kids being bullied is a crime in my opinion. They say “just ignore it”. Well I tried! What they are promoting is social Darwinism. Bullying doesn’t build character, it builds chaos.
I remember in the 11tg grade, we had cooking class. Everyone ignored me and I felt so alone. I was angry, very angry! It was also around the time my dad came back from rehab and started drinking again, crushing my spirits of ever having a real father in my life. – cooking class was my last class of the day that day – I wasn’t sure if it was gonna work, but my intentions was to blow up the classroom. After everyone left the class, I snuck into the room, shut all the windows, and turned the stoves on (were there’s gas and not fire) hoping that the person who turned it on the next day would be obliterated. I did this all because I didn’t want to go to class. Next day I faked sick hoping the entire class room would explode. It didn’t happen and I’m glad it didn’t looking back.
I was always a really good kid up until all that crap went down in school.
I mean no offense when I say it is any wonder why you are the way you are. Similarly speaking, it is too any wonder why I am the way I am.
Your statement “True pain causes people to go insane and gain intelligence at the same time in a lot of ways. “….. oh do very true. I feel at times I’ve transcended the remedial meaningless of life into a different state of existence. … I think a few people have on here. So few “normals” understand and simply cannot grasp or understand the transcendence, it takes the survival of experiences so challenging (or horrific) that only transcendence may occur. It is a club, a club of nomads that seek to belong in a world that they simply cannot.
Very well put! No offense taken and I agree with you 110%. I heard the whole nature vs nurture thing before. I wonder how I would be if I grew up in a stable household. About my plan for the cooking class explosion, I just wanna say I was 16 at the time and 31 now and would never think of hurting anyone or wishing harm.
This reminded me of one of the most harmful things i was told lately. I do have plenty of physical problems, but my emotional problems weight as much (if not more) and my family is to blame on the development of some of those, since they influenced/created some situations that led to a few limit situations (even when i asked them not to interfere on most of them).
Sure enough, after all was said and done they say they want to help me (honestly they really can’t), but when confronted by what i feel (as in, i don’t trust them because they might make things worse), all i got was a defensive attitude, a complete denial of their responsibility on the things that happened (caused mostly by them! lol), and a line that i guess i’ll never forget: “if i had the power to put you on a mental institution i would”. Funniest thing is that i tried to make clear that i know they didn’t want to purposely harm me, and that i’m trying to leave it behind, and still… defensive-agressive behavior.
So yup, i’ll say you are right on in your post, i’ve lived it with family several times (like the one i just wrote), and with friends/people in general as well.
Wow, I feel like I could have written this post. It’s so, so true.