so I fucked up my AS levels pretty bad, can find and reason to carry on my A2 courses. Who the hell picks physics, 3D product design and maths anyway? ( plus I’m female so literally all guys in my classes) I wont be happy with my body till its just skin and bones, and since I’m naturally short and stout that wont happen. don’t want to be pathetic but I literally feel nothing for anyone even though I crave physical contact ( major mummy and daddy issues ) have no career prospects as literally nothing but my morning fag will get me out of bed. ive been diagnosed with depression. i need help but i cant even muster the energy or motivation to ask. i just want to die.
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I know what you mean about craving physical contact despite feeling nothing. I had the most amazing massage yesterday and it’s the only physical contact I experience throughout the year. I get 10 for free every year through my job so I try to go once a month at least. gotta love that morning smoke though
This might sound like stupid, but i’ve realized that it takes way more energy to be in a constant “i want to die” state, than actively looking for help. Lack of physical contact is difficult to deal with, but like tphg says, even massages can some how trick you into fulfilling that craving (i just randomly hug a family member once every blue moon and that kinda helps). You did take pretty difficult classes, so… yup, maybe you could look for help for your depression, otherwise it might become a situation of doing bad at classes just because you stop caring.