I will get this out of the way now. I have been depressed for about four years now. I have always hated everything about myself, then everything started adding on top of it until my first suicide attempt. I was saved by my boyfriend’s older brother, who called the police when I told him what I had done.
Since then, I have started anti-depressants and started therapy. I still have days that I hate myself and who I am. But I am getting better. It doesn’t help that I am fat, obese, chubby, whatever you want to call it. After a debilitating injury, I gain a ton of weight while on bed rest, and it damaged me emotionally.
It ended up that I was born without part of my kneecap, causing exercise to be an Olympic feat. Yet, people are so quick to label me as lazy and a slob.
3 comments
I know exactly how you feel because my knee is permanently damaged and every step I take gives me pain 🙁
I avoid walking a lot because it hurts so much.
Have you given mmos a try? I know it’s an escape in some ways, but it’s more than that you can recreate yourself in a virtual world, voice chat, make friends who don’t judge you based on your short comings in real life. I really recommend it.
Don’t let your physical appearance define who you are. You said you have a boyfriend so somebody loves and appreciates you. If you want to lose weight and your knee is prohibiting exercise, try exercising in a pool (less stress on your joints) Did you see a doctor about getting your knee fixed. These days they can put a fake knee cap in.
Most important don’t let hate take over. Get rid of that negative thinking. I’m sure you are beautiful. I bet there’s a sweetness in you that supermodels know nothing about.
Sam