Three months ago I sold my house. It was a perfect house and I was able to make the payments. I struggled for 7 years since my divorce to stay in the house. I filed bankruptcy. Finally last August I came out of that bankruptcy and started living life. My girlfriend urged me to sell my house. Telling me I would be better off with out it. Lower my expenses and finally be able to move in with her. I wanted to have financial security in my life and finally with two good incomes I could have that. The catch was that I could not have my son living with me after age 18 and I would be temporally living in a small house behind her house. None of this sounded all that good to me….but the fear of not being financially secure parallelized me and I bit the bullet and sold my house.
Well now I have nothing. I have most of my stuff in storage and I gave most of my stuff away. I live in a tiny apartment with my son, who I love so very much! I had my parents take my dog as I could not take care of her anymore. I don’t want to move in with my girlfriend. I don’t want to lose my son. I sold my house under duress and I regret it very much!
Less than a week after I sold my house I went to Disneyland with my girlfriend and her kid. My kids did not go and were not wanted to be there. When we came back my son went to go spent the summer with his mom in Portland 300 miles away. I came back to my apartment alone and fell apart. I called a crisis line and threatened suicide. The police were sent and I was taken to the hospital and admitted to the psych ward. In my duress at the hospital I told my story that I did not think my girlfriend understood my depression. I did not communicate with with her very well.
I also have had a history of cheating on my girlfriend over the 5 years of our relationship..and this summer admitted to having kept an online relationship with an ex. I have made a mess of my life. I had to take a month of sick time off this summer to try to get normal again. I am far from normal
Every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up I think of suicide. I have messed up my life so much. I ruined myself financially and have ruined my relationship with my girlfriend. I have lost time with my son and daughter and can’t take care of them the way I want to.
I do have a good job, I am an electrician with the city. I have been there 10 years. I am struggling with that job right now.
I have a car that may break down any day and I owe money on it. I have a student loan as well.
I would be better off dead I have done the analysis. I never felt this way until I sold my house. I can not buy another one for a year…but I probably won’t be able to afford one. This area is too expensive!
I am 46 and I have nothing to show for my life.nt to die.
2 comments
That’s a lot of burden. Did they prescribe you something when you went to the hospital? You should probably come clean to your girlfriend, even though there might be repercussions for it. What keeps you going aside from your kids?
I did come clean with her when I was in the hospital. And she is leaving me and going to date someone else. I am conflicted with her. I do love her. I having a hard time too because if it wasnt for her i would have never sold thw house. And I would have not had a breakdown.
They did prescribe me Lamotrigine. That helps some. I keep going for the kids and my parents. But my dreams are all dead.