So I stumbled across this site on one of my darkened days. I haven’t slept, ate, or drank anything in two days. My world came crashing down the day I found my mother outside dead from a shot gun to the chest. At first I was in shock, never saw that coming in a million years. my momma was the type of person who loved life, cherished every moment of it. but just like that, she decided she couldn’t take the pain away. she left me, alone, in this world with nothing and no one. I cant bare this pain that I’ve been going through, and I just want it all to stop. I’m weak, pale, and scared. maybe its time to follow my momma
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No it is not time to follow anybody to death. I couldn’t understand if your mother passed away recently, but in any case you need to get help to deal with your loss and grief. It is an exceptionally strong feeling and will take control of everything in your life, most importantly your ability to think clearly. Don’t make any decisions under these circumstances, get help. Hang in there, it will get less painful with time, very slowly, but your feelings will change.
thank you, I really do appreciate the kind thoughts and suggestions.
OMG, I want to give you the biggest, most sincerest hug of all time! I just went through losing someone extremely dear to me, but I don’t think it could compare to what you are going through. Grief is a nasty creature that can really blind you and trick you. Please give it some time. Start with one second at a time, one accomplishment a day (ie: eating a cupcake!) and focus on something you were grateful for (you probably don’t feel grateful for it now, but try to remember the feeling). Please post again…even if it’s to tell me off
I would never tell someone off, especially when they are just trying to help. I appreciate the kind words from everyone and it means a lot to know that people care, even people who have never met me. grief, like you said is hard, and terrifying, so many different emotions and ideas spread through out the body. its always nice to have someone there for you, so thanks again!
are you okay? do you want someone to talk to? im here for you we all are i just want you to lie down and breathe take a few sips of water youre going to be okay i promise. dont do anything youll regret. this is the only chance at life that we get. i kept thinking of the same thing over and over again but i thought about my future. i want to be with my boyfriend cuddling and kissing him then one day marrying him and starting a family. dont you want a future with someone?
I really do appreciate the offer. I didn’t state this in the blog, but my father passed away a few years ago, so as a 22year old female with no home, food, or parents, it is extremely hard. then you talk about a future with someone. there is this guy. ive been with him for 7years now. hes my rock and has helped me through my darkest days. the problem is, we have been fighting these past few days and he left. its been hard not having him around any more. when you’re so use to someone, something for so long, then all the sudden it gets ripped from under you. I feel as though he has too much to deal with and I don’t blame him. I’m not the same girl he fell in love with 7 years ago, I’m different, depressed, and I honestly think he just cant handle it anymore. no ones fault but my own. I want nothing more then to have a future with him, but lately I just don’t see it happening, it scares me and makes me wonder what a life with absolutely no one is going to be like
Goddamn… I’m sorry to hear this reality. May your heart grieve her and release her spirit into freedom. May she rest in peace.
She would want you to take care of yourself without a doubt. There is solace here. May you feel some sort of peace in this moment. Words feel so inadequate to console you right now. I hope my feeble attempt made some sort of difference. My condolences.
thank you so much, I do appreciate it sincerely. I didn’t even think any one would read this, I was just trying to express myself
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine this kind of loss. I second Matel’s words: don’t make decisions under these circumstances. I’m here and many others are here to talk to. You’re not alone in this. 🙂
thank you Trix!
our body is so fragile. feel your heartbeat feel your lungs. look in the mirror and see your beautiful eyes and your cute nose and your ears and your kissable lips. you can see beautiful sunsets and sunrises and the gorgeous moon. you can smell lovely foods and flowers. you can hear the birds chirping and kittens meowing and such lovely music. and you can kiss all the puppies and kittens over and over again and someones lips and neck and chest. your a fragile precious piece of art. i will hug and hold you. youre beautiful and lovely. please believe me because it is the truth. your body is a temple
That is rough. We’re here for you if you need us. We can be your family here.