Ok, so suicidal thoughts linger. Will they ever totally dissipate? Perhaps or perhaps not. I don’t really know. If I had to say, I would lean towards they will lighten but never just go away. Once you learn know or relaize something, it’s not like you can just purposely unknow or unrealize it. The partial truth behind ingnore is bliss. So with acceptance of the fact I may never be able to fully revert from suicidal thoughts and desires leads me to the question of what can I do to cope with them? My mind running on the topic of ways to kill myself and “planning” but not actually planning with various methods can keep me awake more nights than I care. I’m a very reason based detail oriented analytic type person. Once the topic takes root it becomes an internal emotional and intellectual debate over why and how. Down to the finest details. And I’m really not looking to commit suicide currently. Anyways, I was hoping that maybe I could get some insight on ways that others have learned to cope with this if you can relate. Mabey by an action or activity or some type of therapy or medications or what? For I simply pour myself into work to leave me less time to accidentally be thinking on these things, but it keeps me on the border of exhaustion and throws me across that border very quickly with the hours I lose of sleeping due to these thoughts. I need a healthier and better way of coping with this.
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