And that night, I turned my face towards the wall and cried. For the first time in my life I hated Shone. Hated him for blinding me, for tricking me into foolishly believing that life is a beautiful field of roses… that love is a wondrous bond. Hated myself for the choices I’ve made. Hated for being born. Hated my body for functioning normally. Hated everyone around me. Hatred surged through my veins, hot and angry, pulsing with every breath I take.
I want to die. I have to die. I will not stand another day, another night. I will not enter the hellhole in front of me. I refuse to.
I have to think of a method. Plan my exit. And fast. I have to do it before the end of this year. I have to think… and think… and think.