I already know how it’s going to end for me. My life has been a never ending nightmare and it’s getting worse not better. I grew up severely neglected in hellish poverty, my first suicide attempt was in high school, I don’t have actual friends just people that know who I am, my biological relatives hate me because I’m gay, I’ve had every horrible job a person can have even though I went to college, I have a mountain of debt from college, the only man I love won’t have anything to do with me, and in 2010 I snapped and drank a glass of antifreeze. I ended up in the hospital and was put on dialysis. I had to move in with my mother and I’m reminded every day that I’m the family reject. Last March I ended up in the hospital because I had trouble breathing was kept for a week and only recently found out I have Broken Heart Syndrome. I take huge amounts of medication for Major Depression, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I have to take extra medication for the heart issue. I was told by hospital staff I can’t work for now and even though I applied for Social Security Disability in March, I still haven’t received a dime. Everyone I’m related to is poor and miserable. And just yesterday I found an Academic article about the lethal danger of extreme isolation. My whole life has been isolation. There’s a thing called isolation madness, I think I have had it and will again. I’m so glad that it’s so easy to buy a gun in America, at least I can figure out when I need to call it day so to speak. Why live a life no one would want? I’m just going to get old and end up crazy and alone.