I think I am done here for awhile

Thank you all so much.  Even if we never commented towards each other, I have read all.  I will make it.  I have made it 30 years of depressed, I can make it a little longer for my family.  I am chronically ill and will probably only make it another  20-30 years.  I don’t want to come repeat life because I didn’t learn my lessons the first time.  Or end up in some purgatory with guides and counselors. (i have been reading NDEs).  Even if I just wink out, it is not fair to my daughter, she did not ask to be here either (as far as I know, who knows, we may choose life).  I can not leave her or my husband or my mom or my grandmother.  I can stay here for now and hopefully until I can go by a way other than my own hand.  I will try positive affirmations again.   They seemed to help.  My problem is not being able to stick with anything.  The gloom and sadness eventually takes over again, but I must try to go on.  I feel I must.  I wish the best for all of you.  Thank you for being here.  I may still pop in from time to time.