So, I had a new step grandfather and we only meet one month a year whenever they visited our country. So for short, we are of different race and culture. So, meaning to say, we have different ways of interacting.
So, umm. This month he took a liking to me. Like a grandfather. And I, who hate myself, is okay with it. BUT as I was saying, different. He would try to kiss me on the lips, his hands on my waist and ass. And most often when he’s hugging me, he would kiss me on my chest(not breast) Maybe, pure difference in the way we were raised BUT I have my fears.
And men’s touch and desires are one of them. I had my history of child molestation. And his touches gives me nightmares. It’s bringing back memories that I don’t want to remember.
And my parents and grandmother wants me to please him because I’ve become his favorite. But I don’t want it. I’m scared. I really am. Now, I’m always hiding from him and avoiding him. But I know it won’t last for long because they said they’ll going to get me to live with them. Just the three of us in a new country for me. I am scared.
They don’t know my fear. And I don’t want them to know. Well, of course hearing your daughter got molested when she was a young girl isn’t something you want to hear.
20 comments
where is he from? !!! girl you need to tell you mum and dad about it don’t just go and live with them !!
They’re living in California right now but he’s Hungarian by birth.
And as for living with them, my mom is okay with it.
Does your mum know what he’s doing? I really can’t imagine what you’re going through, considering your history. Even if that had never happened to you, what he’s doing is terrible. You shouldn’t have to go through this.
They know I’m his favorite and they’re happy with it. And maybe they just see it as a normal showing of affection(hugging and stuff) I don’t know if they see the hands but I guess they see it as another normal thing. Maybe, it’s just me over analyzing things. But I’m really scared.
I’m so sorry… It might help if you could speak up for it, but I can understand why that would be too hard. I truly hope they’re not seeing some of it, because nobody should see that as normal or appropriate and let it happen.
Thank you. Maybe I’ll let them know after my therapy. I’m having one this Monday.
Thank you for the concern. 🙂
I hope you can. Good luck, mranony. I hope this situation will soon be behind you.
I hope so too.
Thank you very much for the support. 🙂
I wouldnt trust it…follow your instincts, it seems like something is trying to warn you..
I pray you stay out of harms way
Love Funanya
Thank you. But I don’t what will happen next. But most probable, I’m going with them. With my family status, this is an opportunity to help my mom. So, I don’t know.
Alright love…be save xx
Thank you for the concern and for understanding. 🙂
First and foremost, speaking as a sane, decent parent, I WOULD want to know if my son was molested. Not so I could go beat up the bad guy, but so I could make sure my son got HELP.
Second, whether gramps intentions are pure or not, whether he has different cultural values or not, you interpret his actions as unwanted sexual advances. IT IS NEVER OK FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS. It doesn’t matter one bit if you are “imagining” this or not! It is actively causing you mental harm.
So you are not wrong for feeling wierded out by this. That’s the good news.
The bad news is you are going to have to come clean to your parents. You are going to have to explain everything… the molestation, what gramps is doing, and how it makes you feel. If your parents don’t “get it” you are going to have to explain it again. If your parents try to shut you down still you are going to have to tell everything to a school guidance counselor.
I know it seems like opening your mouth will make everything worse. This is not true. Staying silent will do far far more damage.
The next time gramps puts his hand on your ass say in a loud voice, “gramps, please stop fondling my ass, it makes me uncomfortable!”
Thank you for clearing that and for the advices.
But man, those are some bad news. I don’t know how will I open the topic to them. I don’t what they’ll say and what not. This would be hard. I’ll try after the session on Monday.
“Gramps does X y z and it makes me feel weird. The reason it makes me feel weird is I have memories of horrible thing horrible thing horrible thing.
I never told you about it because I was so ashamed / was afraid / didn’t have the words.
Please keep gramps away from me; it brings back these bad memories and makes me want to do drugs / cut myself / play the trombone.”
This is a rough wave to ride and I hope it goes well. *hugs*
Wow. Thank you for the topic openers. I was struggling right now. They’re leaving and I need to keep an eye on him.
(I LOLed at the playing the trombone XD)
Anyway. Thank you very much. ?
Definitely speak up about it! My grandfather is British by birth and did many of those things to me when I was a child so I definitely would speak up because I became terrified of him and many people noticed something wrong eventually so save yourself the conflict and tell them before it’s too late!
*-Be Safe
Thank you. I will.
So how are you now?
Be safe too. 🙂
I’m hanging on but thankfully my grandfather moved far away back to England so I don’t have to see him anymore
Thankfully. Gosh. That must have been harsh. Well, it’s good we’re still hanging on.
Good luck for the both of us. Cheers.