Hey all, brand new to this site just wanted to speak about it somewhere. I can’t tell any of my family, or my friends. I’m the strong one out of the friendship group, always the shoulder to lie on when somebodys feeling down. Yet the thing is it’s actually me who’s not okay but I don’t want to trouble my friends and family with my struggles. I’m a 17 year old guy, it’s not like I hate my body or my image or anything like that, I’m in no way vain, but I’m comfortable with everything like that, and I’d never dream of self-harming. But everything thats going on with me lately is really starting to get me down. college stress and discomfort. My friends troubles, Â my familys constant arguing. It even gets to the point where my dad hits my sisters and I can’t do anything about it as they won’t let me and we all love him. My mums death, my nans death, the fact that I feel my friends don’t like me deep down. I feel like nobody loves me, and I genuinely believe it’s true. Being the only boy in a family with 4 other sisters isn’t easy. I’m left out all the time, forgotten about, least favoutiye. It sounds stupid I know, vut it’s true. It all weighs on me and I’ve been thinking for a long time now that I should just end it. I know it’s selfish and I hate myself more than I already do for having these thoughts as I’M THE STRONG ONE. People rely on ME. I just can’t take life anymore, I haven’t planned it yet but It’ll probably happen before christmas. I just keep giving myself new tries at life but they fail, I want to see my 6 year old sister grow up, I want a family and a wife. I want to love someone as much as I’ve been craving to be loved my whole life. But the thought of ending it all tends to outweigh all this. I’m sorry for being so pathetic and generic guys, I really am. But i just can’t deal anymore, if anyone has any tips or words of help, i’d be forever grateful. thanks. -adam
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
And you can have all those things you mentioned, all you need to do is hang in there and not give in to the thoughts of suicide. There will be somebody to love you, you can have a family and see your little sister grow up. When you are young things change much easier for the better as long as you try to keep strong. Which you should be able to do as you mentioned that you are a strong person, but everybody has their limit and you are going through a difficult time with family losses and fights within the family.
All those difficulties are piling up, day by day and everyday, and you are feeling suicidal because of all the stress. I’d suggest that you try to get help if you can, from the sources that are around you. Writing here was a good start, maybe there are other people around you who can listen.
Getting help, feeling down, weak, helpless, stressed crying etc. doesn’t mean that you are no longer strong, don’t lose the confidence in yourself. And you shouldn’t consider suicide, I don’t even want to discuss about it, since there are so many things wrong with it in your case, I don’t know where to start.
Try to talk to other people you trust, or at least come and write here instead of making suicide plans. Hang in there and push through, I can assure you things will get better or you’ll manage to deal with them better.
Hey 🙂
It sounds like you’re depressed. It’s an illness like any other – the thoughts it gives you don’t make you any weaker or selfish, and it can be treated. You might feel like things are getting worse and worse, but it’s not a perpetual cycle.
If people rely on you to be the strong one then they must value you… so I’m sure you are loved. You sound like a great person and you can’t help feeling that way. Your family and friends would probably hate for you to be suffering. If you can’t talk to them, I’m glad you came here to talk. Always helps to have people who understand what it’s like to feel that way.