My first post and thanks to you

I wanted to say hi to all of you and wanted you to know that you are the most understanding people I know, and I’m grateful that you people exist and this website exists as well.

I also want to say that I’m definitely not here to encourage people or discuss methods or anything alike. I just want to be part of this community to share our feelings/experiences together. Together we will feel less lonely I believe.

I have been reading SP every now and then for the last 4 years, as the idea of suicide has been with me for that amount of time. My anxiety/depression wasn’t that high at first but the last year and a half it got more frequent and much, much intense. I would welcome an easy way out, however, the possibility of failure is there and I’m very much afraid of spending the rest of my life completely miserable, bed bound etc. I would do it if I was sure I’d depart, however it is impossible to make sure therefore I’m not doing it.

In the last 4 years, when I visited this website I felt better. I’m completely amazed how much in common I have with others on this website, how much understanding, empathy and nicety people show here. Thank you guys, I know you understand me and I’d like you to know that I understand you too.

I believe from now on I will be commenting on your posts, for sharing, for support, for best wishes or just for a small line of chat. Maybe I’ll also add my own posts from time to time. As I’m feeling very bad at the moment, I feel the need to share more than ever.

I’d very much welcome it if you are reading it, just say hi, only two letters is enough. In any case thank you guys again. See you later.