I know I’m usually a rambler so I’ll keep this brief. After ages of debating, of hoping, of begging, I’ve decided to give up. I don’t feel like there’s anything good about me, I feel as if I’ll never be loved or supported and I’ll never achieve anything that I want. I’ve spent the past 19 years trying to feel happy. Thanks for being kind to me in my brief time here. I intend to shoot myself tomorrow morning, when everyone in my family is gone. I’ll make sure no one, but a cop or medical personnel finds me, so won’t worry about that.
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Please don’t do it. I understand how you feel, in a way, because I’m going through the same thoughts. But I don’t think you should do it.. No one deserves to hurt themselves in any way. Please know that I am here if you ever need anything… I don’t know if I can convince you not to do it at all, but I can try to help you at the least. I don’t know you, but I love you. Please stay strong.
I logged on JUST for this, and I don’t log on THAT often. For real? Stick around, wait another 24 hours. Right now I’m exhausted and need to work at 6 AM. I’ll talk to you tomorrow night! HANG IN THERE!
Hey…. It’s not for you to say ! It’s her choice you don’t get to change her mind because you could convince her yes. But it’s going to come full circle again and she will be back to where she is now with prolonged pain for nothing I wish I could afford to buy a gun to do it myself but I have to make it another 2 weeks just to buy the gun if I could I would do it right there with her. I feel your pain Hun I know what you feel I feel it too you need to do what you think is right for you
I thought you were nice. I wish I could have made you laugh. I understand why you are doing this and I think you are enough of a self-aware adult to make this decision. Peace be with you, sweet one. If you change your mind and post here tomorrow I will be glad. Hugs, little one, many, many hugs!
Sorry everyone, it’s just all this stuff bringing me down. And it mainly centers around that guy I usually talked about. I was doing just fine, I was down and hurting, but I could make it. I thought about hurting myself sometimes, but I could get around it. Ever since everything went to shit with that guy, I’m terrified no one will ever want me again. I had always felt that I would never be good enough for anyone and he confirmed that for me. I feel so absolutely worthless and my life is such a waste. And he’s so fucking happy now, he ruined my whole life and he’s so happy and I tried to whole “success is the best revenge” thing, but he doesn’t even care, he doesn’t even think of me and I worked so fucking hard. It’s just, that’s the first time I felt loved and it wasn’t even real and now I know no one will ever care about me. Please don’t assume this all just over some guy though, it based on years and years of other things, it was just the last straw. Every second of my life is miserable, dying it all I think about because I know that it’s the only thing I’ll ever have to make things better in my life. I’m just tired of wasting my time and everyone else’s.
Thank you chelle428, reading this and knowing you’re trying to cope helps me to do the same. I feel unloved; been without love for years after being taken for an emotional ride by someone. I feel I’ll grow old alone and it scares me, but suicide scares me too. We are lost in a sea of happiness, all around me I see couples and I am by myself, it hurts. I read SP and see others, like you, like me, lost souls. Sorry for your pain, will it ever go away, I hope it will, I understand.
I have someone wonderful in my life because three things happened:
1) I kept opening the door to my heart and letting people in. No matter how many times I was lied to or cheated on in past relationships, I kept the door open.
2) I said no to abuse and misuse. I refused to buy into that stupid voice that said “this will be the only one that will ever love you.”
3) I lived long enough to let the right one in.
That decent, sweet, humble, courageous, funny, sexy, smart, generous guy you want is out there. If you are gone then he won’t trip over you as exits a donut shop on March 5th, 2016 at 8:45 AM. Instead of asking you out he will just hang out with his friends, but from that point on he’ll always feel like something is missing from his life but he’ll never be sure what it is.
Well, that’s what my crystal ball tells me. 😉
I completely understand feeling like you’ve spent ur whole life trying to be happy. Then someone walks into ur life & makes u so happy, only to eventually reek havoc on your heart, & carry on with their own perfect life without a care in the world. But is he really worth the pain this will cause to those u leave behind? Who knows what ur life could be like in a few years time? Maybe amazing. I’m not here to change ur mind, but if this guy is the main factor u should give it some more thought. I hope to see you back posting on here still, but wish u the best in whatever u decide.