Sept 11 2015 Isolation and painful despair in conjunction with my depressed thinking habits make for a very risky combination. My suicidal thinking often arises out of hopelessness about being able to overcome difficult life problems and feeling connected to anything. I seek further isolation trying to get away from all of “that”. It doesn’t work and spirals into those thoughts again. A never ending cycle of torment in the head. I’m desperate for relief from suffering, yet stuck in a tunnel vision at the bottom of my depression habit spiral, and less able to apply problem-solving skills and are vulnerable to the deadly over-simplification of suicidal thinking. The taboo over discussing suicide also means that thinking about suicide can leave someone feeling very isolated and alone. I’m bottled up and have nowhere else to turn. A twisted twist of fate spiraling habit my mind creates. I search for a peaceful way out. There seems to be none and I’m alone inside this insidious place.