Damn. This night my mom and dad and the rest of my family got together to watch this video about this guy who grew up in poverty and now he’s a doctor or something. My moms like all “you guys are so smart and have so much potential. Your sister in college is working so hard studying and u guys need to work hard to”. She doesn’t get it. I’m an unbalanced human. You know those character in the games that you have to distribute the points to different characteristic for there intelligence, strength, etc. I’m so unbalanced. I’m pretty smart and pretty athletic, but I just have no will. I’m dead in the inside. I’m antisocial, introverted, and kill myself inside. Honestly, I kind of have a bit of bloodlust too. Nevertheless, I’m not normal. I don’t want to follow my parents expectations and live a normal life. I have no will to do so. In fact, I’m totally fine with a job that makes enough to barely survive. Maybe I’ll join the military to accept my bloodlust. I kind of want to try killing someone.
I don’t know. I’m so screwed up inside, with such high expectations by the people around me. I guess I wouldn’t kill myself tho, cause of my younger brother. We made a deal that whoever dies first, the other has to put something on their grave – salt on his, pepper on mine. Honestly, he is the only one I feel comfortable around, but even now, I don’t want to involve him in this world.
I have too perfect of a life that it’s boring and I don’t want to try. Sorry all the people with screwed up lives. Idk, I was just pissed. That’s for reading
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I forgot to mention this, but in my church, I’m I charge of a group of guys. I have to “help them” and all the adults are bothering my about it. Honestly, why did I even end up in such a position. But what I wanted to ask was this, Can you help others if you can’t even help yourself?
The existence of this site is a larger version of that question. I think yes, because we often are more highly motivated to help others than ourselves. And hey, normal’s no fun.
If you don’t feel comfortable in a leadership role, with the responsibilities that come with it, best to just decline out of that position-no matter who you upset.
I think maybe your parents set too high a standard, which can lead to dejection and apathy. Since you feel you could never live up to it-you don’t want to bother with anything. Perhaps they are also a major influence in your life and you want to be more independent.
I’d suggest trying your own path-live on your own if you can. Nevermind what they think. If you want to be successful go for it. But as people often say, do what you love, the money will follow.
I’m currently in one of those low-level jobs (in an office) that you mentioned. This is not what I got my degree for-however I took it for survival/to pay the bills, but I’m looking now to move onto bigger and better things.
As for that ‘bloodlust’ thing, can’t really relate to that. Sure sometimes we hate people and wish them death like Islamic fanatics for instance…but if you just want to kill someone (like an innocent person) to see how it feels, you’re treading into psychopath territory and might be better off taking to a psychologist about it.
Forgot to add, currently I’m not doing what I love (as a job)…but I’m working towards a position that will allow me to do that in the future. I plan to be self-employed-I had a stint with that in the past and loved it.
I play an MMORPG that echoes your analogy. Yes it sucks trying to play a tank when you only have 80 STR and everyone else has 110. But you know what? By the time you are level 24 that difference doesn’t mean jack. By then it’s all how well you play the game and not whether you are getting +5 damage on each swing.
Yeah parents are gonna say stupid shit. I swear there is a mass epidemic of amnesia in parents. Like when they were 15 they were living up to their so called potential. Bullshit.
Bless my mom and dad. They had very hard childhoods. But they never assumed my childhood was “easy”. They knew each and every one of us is bumbling along as best we can. I treated my son the same way my parents treated me. I knew he was struggling with things I had no idea about. All I could do was be his cheerleader, not his critic.
Next time your parents play the “living up to your potential” card, tell them you are only a reflection of them living up to their potential as parents. That’ll piss them off.
On second thought, maybe don’t do that.