I realize now that it was his fault. I was too young to understand, & although I’m still young, I understand it better now. He was a piece of shit who took advantage of me. I don’t even think I actually consented; I think I just did it because it was what he wanted me to do. But now, I see that it was wrong & I never deserved it. I fucking hate him. You don’t take advantage of a 13 year old girl when you’re 24, you fucking sick piece of trash.
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Hey, welcome back!
Yes, he raped you. Whether you liked him or not, you were not old enough to understand completely what was going on.
People, evil people, come up with all sorts of fucked up explanations to blame the victim. I hope you never encounter that. It doesn’t matter whether you were 13 years or 13 months old. He had all the power and he used it to manipulate you.
I hope you are hanging in there.
Thank you. Really, thank you. You’re helping me see how fucked up he was. I appreciate it so much.
All women are my sisters and I want to be a decent big brother.
There will come a time when you are going to have a long talk about this with your mom. Or maybe you have already? You haven’t finished sorting though all your feeling and memories, so be prepared for some tough moments. It’s OK to be angry. Just keep in mind that your mom was manipulated, too. She should have known better and at the same time she may have felt powerless to get rid of him. I don’t know.
And if that wasn’t enough heavy shit to deal with, that nightmare is now part of who you are, but you don’t have to let it define you. Google rape recovery and look for some sensible positive stories and guides to read.
Congratulations, life has assigned you some homework. ( ha ha, tiny laugh?)
Seeing the ages you mentioned, you’re very clearly right. That’s not full consent and it’s very deliberately taking advantage of someone. The older I get, the more sickening it seems that adults can do that to young people.