I’ve asked myself so many times ‘why am I alone’ when I see other men around me in relationships. Well, women know a loser when they see one, and will avoid at all costs, that’s why I remain on my own. I feel I must give off an invisible air of sadness and desperation that repels women as what woman wants a broken and useless man? Try as I might I can’t seem to change how I feel about myself, when anxiety becomes ingrained over time it seems impossible to change it, the dream is over for me, only a lonely future remains and I would rather be dead.
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I’m sorry I know I probably wont help but your definitely I’m in the same boat
I was in a crowd, a couple near me was holding each other, I felt like I wanted the ground to just swallow me. Sorry you’re in the same position; loneliness is difficult, we smile through it, and no one notices our despair.
Yeah the fake smile ? but sometimes people can still see it in your eyes. I’m sorry your lonly
nias,
You only need one! iām sure you can find one.
I know rocketman, believe me I know things can change just like that, it just gets me down sometimes when I see so many couples around me like today. I was worried about comments on this post, but I know comments are useful for me and for others who read them. Loneliness is hard to take though, so many on SP struggle with this issue.
nias,
Trust me you will find one, but the next thing you know you will be back on here trying to get advice on how to get rid of her?? š
I wish I could be so optimistic about this, I’m told there’s someone for everyone, I’m not so sure anymore; I suffer from not being able to interact with people that well, confidence is a part of being in a relationship, but I know what you are saying.
You’re not the only one on this boat (i gave up on looking for someone a couple of years ago). The thing is tho, generalizing usually doesn’t help much… i’d say it’s more “what another person wants”, because your description of that air of sadness… well, some guys would be repelled from that in a woman too. If i had to guess tho, the only constant i’ve seen so far is that women want someone that gives them a sense of security, and that can be accompanied by many other things depending on the person (but i could be completely wrong about this one).
That said, there’s always the chance you have just the right amount of things that a woman that you still haven’t met needs.
You are right in that, it was just a bit of a rant about my particular circumstances, there are a lot of lonely women here as well, I know that. I think what I should be saying is that confident people, regardless of their sex, seem to be okay when it comes to dating and those who struggle with self esteem find it difficult even though they may be a really nice person. In my life I see confident men and women in relationships who talk about their lives, who have plenty to live for, it makes me jealous, but I can never be like them, you just can’t turn on the confidence like turning on a tap. I just worry about growing old alone, it’s a sad thing, so many old people suffer loneliness, am I destined to be one of them. While so many couples were out enjoying their Saturday night, the lonely were here typing into SP their sadness at being one.
I know the feeling nias. We’ve had long discussions on this in the past. Social anxiety and a lack of confidence ruined the best thing I ever had. Time and time again in my life I am told I’m a nice guy, but that I make the other person “uncomfortable”. The word keeps coming up. Literally every person I’ve ever been interested in in my entire life has rejected me (all but one right away, but she did too when I met her) and more than half were “uncomfortable” because of how awkward I am. The only other person who even gave me a chance was someone I didn’t approach. I can be okay after a while around people I get to know more to the point where I’m not that nervous around them, but I’m not worth anyone taking the time. It’s just really hard knowing that. That I’m really not worth it. That that uncomfortableness will always drive everyone away. That I must be so physically repulsive that no one is willing to wait to show them what’s inside. That I will always be lonely. That I will always feel like this, just as you do. I’ve been trying not to think about it. Trying to just accept it but I just can’t. I fell asleep last night having horrible dreams and woke up and cut the hell out of myself. I just want to care about someone and know it makes them feel loved. I finally thought I found the person I always wanted and it made me feel so good to do all the things I did for her, the hours I would spend just trying to bring warmth to her heart. I never expected a lot back. It was enough that she allowed me to shower her with affection and that she felt the same in return. But when we finally met, it all abruptly ended because I couldn’t muster the confidence I could behind a screen, and I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t worth getting through the awkwardness until I could be the same in person. I wasn’t worth the uncomfortable feelings. I never will be. Nias, you will but I won’t. I believe you will, but I have no chance. There truly is someone for everyone, and I won’t ever meet anyone so much like me again. She was exactly what I’ve always wanted, to feel like there was someone else who really, truly understood and got how I thought and felt, but I probably just ended up reminding her of everything she hated about herself. If I didn’t have a friend I talk to who was so imminently suicidal, I’d be dead. Sometimes I feel like my reassurance is all that is keeping her alive, and I’m so afraid she will die. I already lived through her death once. I cannot do it again, especially since we’ve become closer than when she used to post here. Keeping her alive is all that’s keeping me alive right now.
Cope, I’ve got to respond, I had hoped it would work out for you, you had such high hopes it would. Is there an answer to that nervousness one gets around someone we wish to impress, I’ve tried but remain awkward. In the end one does concludes, as you say, that one has to be ugly not to be able to get into a relationship regardless of the truth, this applies to both sexes. I’m told to get out there, meet people, join clubs; all good advice, but for someone like us, socially awkward, it’s hard to do. There is no answer, are you saying we must stay hopeful even though we know the chances are that we will probably remain alone, left behind in a society for the confident. It’s good that you’re helping someone else in this difficult life that drags so many down to the point of wanting death.
I have the same problem. I feel so repulsive to women and admittedly im scared of them again lol. I dont know what the answer is i pray you find someone.