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by Wanttogiveup

Hello everyone…I haven’t posted on here for a while. I sincerely apologize for my lack of absence…I said I would try to help people but I just left. I thought I was better…but I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been always feeling like I’m never good enough. I’m not good enough for school, I’m not good enough for my family, I’m not good enough for the ex girlfriend I still love, I’m not good enough to for anything. I don’t know what to do. It’s handicapping me from doing anything I want to because I’m positive I’ll screw something up as usual. I keep trying to put a smile on my face and go about my days like nothing is wrong…but today like 6 different people asked me if I’m okay. It’s blatantly obvious my act isn’t working. I cry myself to sleep most nights because I always have panic attacks and the only cure is my ex girlfriends voice but she can’t talk whenever I’m having them. One of my other friends is dealing with her own problems that are very serious but I can’t do anything since I can’t help myself. I’m selfish and rude and pushy and I’m never good enough for anyone. I don’t have school tomorrow or Friday so I have great opportunities to kill myself…and that possibility seems more like reality as every second passes…

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Trix 10/15/2015 - 4:29 am

Sorry you’ve not been doing well lately. It sounds like your thoughts (that you’re not good enough) are making you feel worse. Maybe you could try some CBT (or similar) techniques? The idea is to recognise thoughts like that and turn them around into something more positive. I’ve never really tried it (I just started an online course in it, but I’m not far enough in to see any effects) but there are studies showing that it helps people’s depression, among other problems. You’re not selfish or rude – even if you act that way sometimes, that isn’t who you are. You can turn some of this around. I know how hard it is, trying to put on an act, feeling terrible about yourself, having panic attacks… but you can get through this. 🙂

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