ive always felt ugly. i am fat and ugly. i recently lost a lot of weight. i went from weighing 180lbs to weighing 145lbs but now i weigh 160lbs and i am just so ugly and weak. food is my weakness. i love food but i hate it at the same time. this happens all the time. i lose the weight but then i gain a lot of weight, i dont know why. i hate the way i look. it depresses me, it really really depresses me. i cry about it all the time. my body is a big issue of mine. i just cant seem to be happy because of the way that i look, there are a lot of other reasons why i am so very unhappy but my body issues is my biggest issue. i need to lose weight for the air force and i know i can do it but im scared. i dont want to be fat and ugly and disgusting for the rest of my life. i started to look back at old pictures of myself and i looked terrible. my fat was everywhere, i knew i was big but damn i am huge adn ugly. i had the worst double chin. everyone sees that i am ugly, everyone sees that i am ashamed from it. i have no confidence because of it. i can lose the weight and i will lose the weight but my confidence is at a low right now. i was so depressed from looking at my old pictures that i had to throw up. thats how bad it is, i make myself sick. i am terrible.