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Depressing pre-bday post

by Stereotype

So I have always hated my birthday and it’s coming up next week.  I see a lot of birthday posts on here and thought I’d add mine.  For the first 15 years of my life I celebrated my birthday with the birthday of the man who was molesting me, we ate cake together, laughed, played and…  other stuff.  For the next 15 years I prayed for my own death and even attempted it with one serious attempt that left me with broken bones…  BUT last year was good even though I struggled and this year even though I am struggling I think it will be a better birthday than the first 15 years or even the second 15 years.  SO the big 32 for me will be a landmark in my life, right?  And I won’t commit suicide on my birthday, right?  I could rant all day but I don’t want to burden anyone, I just want to leave a hopeful message out there tonight because I feel like we could all use a little hope.  Yesterday I felt like I could take my own life and today is a better day.  It DOES get better, there ARE good moments.  My niece sat in my lap and giggled uncontrollably tonight and that makes me glad I didn’t off myself yesterday.  Lets make more good moments.


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snailing 10/16/2015 - 12:26 am

I can relate… Birthdays are very hard for me. I had to leave my birth country because of how dangerous it is. Birthdays are the day in which all the people I had to leave behind call me and it breaks my heart to know that I’m so far away from all the people I love. Hope you have if not a happy birthday, at least a bearable one. Much love x

Disposable Human 10/16/2015 - 1:25 am

I hope you have a happy birthday filled with lots of happy moments! Congratulations on finding joy and positivity in your niece. Little things like that can heal us so much 🙂

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