Hold me down

The guy I like asked me to be his.

I said yes.

I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into though.

What if hes like most other guys? If he doesn’t really like me and just wants a fling?

Ill just end up hurt in the end, but for now hes making me smile even when I’m in the worst of moods.

I was with him yesterday. I saw scars on his arms. I wasn’t going to mention it to him, that would be insensitive of me, but maybe if he sees my scars he will understand? I’m not openly going to show him though, I don’t know if I can trust him with that yet. I don’t know if I can trust anyone with that.

Hes the first person I haven’t pushed away, because hes the first person I’ve wanted to stay.

As for school, that’s getting harder too.

I only have a few months left, but that means there’s only a few months until my exams and I’m not taking any of it in. I’m exhausted and I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I’m going to end up just like the rest of my family.

Things would be so much easier if I wasn’t so sad. I just wish I could open up to people easily, I wish people would accept me if I were to open up, but they wont, so I wont either.