I can’t stand life anymore

I’m 21 too. For me it’s an awkward age, because I feel so far from childhood but at the same time, after thinking I figured out my identity as a teenager, I feel like I’m starting all over again. I suspect that’s due to life events, or I’d probably have carried on as I was for a while. I’ve been ill with severe depression for years, and more moderate depression for years before that. If I believed that the future held nothing better than the past or present, the thought of living to those ages would terrify me. Nobody can say for sure that things will get better. But if you try to improve things then there’s a much higher chance that they will. If you might be alive for a while longer, perhaps you can use that time for your possible advantage.

I don’t mean to over-analyse but it sounds like you’re looking at your problems as something from the outside that you can’t control. Depression is in the mind. It’s just as real, but it can be changed. If you learn to transform your mind you could see the world in new way. You have to understand the extent that depression changes the way you feel and the way the world appears to you. Even if you can’t remember a time without it, that doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. I’m not suggesting you should keep ploughing through the misery and pain for the sake of being alive, but that you could look for more help before you make your final decision (and if you’re getting help, to try something new). I hope you consider it. 🙂