I need you guys

Oh darling please do not do that. You are responsible for two people right now, and it is a heavy weight, I know. But your life has not been completely awful, has it? There were bright points. You should let her at least have a chance at life, then decide if you wish to end yours, but don’t make this choice for two, not when you are already five months. I can promise you that your baby will change your whole life, whether you keep her or give her up for adoption, but that’s not a bad thing. Both will be difficult. Never think that it was a mistake, or that it was trouble. You didn’t intend for it to happen, but it did. That’s ok. It happens, it’s not the end of the world, I swear. You have something so precious growing inside you. She loves you and she can’t judge you. No matter what there are resources, there are organizations and online communities, and people to reach out to, some won’t help but a lot will. Your friends aren’t equipped to handle this, neither are you, that might be why they are pulling away. For the moment at least don’t chase after them, go find people who will understand, I’m sure you’re not the first teen to get pregnant where you are, ask around, find them. Do some research, take care of yourself. I know teenage parents who both kept their kids and let them be adopted, it’s just based on what they could handle, and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, it is a huge thing. You just need some help and support.