I’m Sorry.

a self deprecating approach is plum perfect for first dates and reciprocal oration in church, but in general, in life in general, it can be quite cumbersome, no? people, normal people, 1984 people, believe it to be such a tragedy, those that fail to thrive, such a tragedy…..nope. well, yes, but much worse, far worse, is the fear of the failure to……..survive…….(phantoms are a godammed sight harder to kill than a reality, don’t u concur?) do I measure up? when I leave the room, is divine intervention the only thing keeping the rolling eyes of the masses from rolling right out of their callous and cold sockets? is there hidden disdain in the anamolies I pass in the hall? AM I GOOD ENOUGH???? Will my deepest, most sincere slice, will it be enough to cut mustard? You know. already. before asking. you are in sponge mode. you soak up knowledge. you regurgitate said knowledge….is that enuf? are you worthy? this is a crucial step, you, and the horse you came screaming in on, THIS PART MATTERS AND HAS A PROFOUND, (fuck, more than that, ‘crucial’…maybe that sums it up better?) BEARING…….O-N T-H-E R-E-ST- O-F Y-O-U-R N-AT-U-R-A-L B-O-R-N-E L-I-F-E!!!!! fucking AHHHHHHHH is rite..you should be afraid, if you weren’t, something would be wrong with you……….maybe something IS wrong with you, I don’t have a fucking inkling, as it applies to the far reaching implications of the aforementioned mental faculties……i’d attribute this completle lack of knowledge I possess on the subject to the fact that I don’t know YOU (the tao-o-u) but based on this post your gonna be okay if you’d let yourself be (far easier said….rite?) the sound of your…..effort? (for lack of a better word) echo thru the hallowed marbled halls of higher learning, will this cacophy of effort perturb the gods and twitterpate your better angels? sound off bitches! your footfalls, you spend faaaarrrrr too long in contemplation, do this part for you, because, fuck you, you do deserve it…..you fucking do, & i’ll HAPPILY find 6 ft underneath and STILL believe this, this is fact, you fucking deserve to be where you are stop 4th guessing….and you nag yourself to death, or nearly, this assumption contrived from your conspicuous presence on such a blatantly ‘Cry, WEEP, for-help-website—–what a project to commit to(tired of living, it’s fucking easy to find, no?) on all the loudspeakers, you hear how hard it is to put faith in GOD ABOVE, although they tell you that you must…..and they speak the truth, it IS hard…..but far harder still, by many a cluttered mile, is it hard to find the strength to have faith in yourself…..if you read this, and I am already dead, I hope you can find solace in these words, and i’ll tell your SPH teacher to back of from heaven….loololoo