Well I really didn’t want to go for help but then I found this website so I decide to post something to try and reach out to anyone. I might as well say I’m sorry for not trying to handle my own problem and instead go on this website to try and get a little hope for still living, because the only thing I feel every day is mental abuse and physical abuse. Now I’ll start off by saying that I’m 17 and I am the worst person ever. Ever since I was 13 all I wanted to do was die, especially when I was the kid getting bullied and pushed around by teachers and students alike. Nothing went right for after my parents got divorced back in 6th grade, all that came was money problems and bulling and me crying myself to sleep all to be tolled everyday to be a fucking man and stand up for my god dam self!Ā High school things only got worse for me as my grades started to drop and all I thought about doing was cutting my legs because it seemed like the only way to take my pain away. Now all I can think about is killing myself. Sorry for making this a life story and I understand if people don’t even take a glance at it.
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This is one of the shorter posts on here, believe me. “Iām 17 and I am the worst person ever” how exactly? you’ve been bullied degraded and abused, that doesn’t sound like you’re awful, it sounds like you’ve been in awful situations. Actually you sound pretty resilient if you’ve been wanting to die since 13, kudos for still being here. “I might as well say Iām sorry for not trying to handle my own problem” Why do you think any of us are here? It’s no fun and next to impossible to survive alone. I can’t offer advice at the moment but someone else will come along.
Have you tried to call the police, or at least to tell your parents? It’s physical abuse after all, you should not stay quiet!
Anyway be strong, we’ll always be here to support you!
P.S: I don’t think you are the worst person ever.
You’re absolutely not the worst person out there. This is an unfortunate side effect of your circumstances. If you think about it, when you were born you had no idea of the world and how you fit into it and I highly doubt that you thought of yourself in that light, being the worst person out there. You’re not. Period. š
I know you are frustrated about not being able to stand up for yourself. It is tough! It’s scary… especially if you don’t feel as though you have the necessary support in place. Confidence doesn’t just magically appear, confidence generally gathered by having people”behind you”… not in the physical sense but an emotional one. As young in school i enclosed you to speak with a school counsellor or someone you trust. Even if you have just one person behind you it can start to turn things around. You don’t have to do it alone. Talk to someone… posting on SP is a start and may have been something that you hesitated doing. Please take my advice. Please…. š
Hang in there. You’re still young and there is a very high probability that it will in fact get better. Take what I’ve mentioned as your first steps. And please don’t take too long on making them.
P.S. I’m proud of you for toughing things out. That takes a lot!
You’re kinda being to hard on yourself. You’re not a bad person for wanting help and/or be heard, we all need that from time to time (no matter what your age is). That said, you’ve gone through some serious stuff. I really don’t anything to add to the advice that what everyone said above, but i guess i just wanted to say that you’re not alone. And even the strongest person needs a reminder of how strong he/she is from time to time.