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It’s been a while…

I don’t know how long it’s been since I posted something here, but it’s been some time…
I should probably start with ‘hi’. I felt the need to write something today. Not for any particular reason, I just want to write something.
Things are… Let’s go with okay. It’s been a lot of ups and downs recently. Let’s start with the ups:
I’ve moved on to a new area of education, left some friends behind, and made a few new ones. It’s all for the better, these new friends seem to be better people.
I ahould be starting counselling soon, which is good, because all I want is to talk to someone and hopefully get referred and get diagnosed with something.
I’m coming to terms with my gender, in a way. Changing pronouns and names is something that works for me, which is good.

And the downs:
I feel that whatever issues I have in my head, be it depression or something else, are just getting worse.
I’m self harming a lot more than normal.
I contemplate suicide nearly everyday.
Although I’m coming to terms with it, my gender is still a difficult thing, and in education it’s hard to swap between names and pronouns, and I experience a fair bit of dysphoria.

But yeah, that’s what’s up with me.
Also, any comments that are left on any of my posts, I read them all, and I do appreciate them, I’m just not in the right frame of mind to reply, so I’m sorry about that.
I hope you’re all feeling okay today, and that everything goes your way 🙂
-M

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7 comments

theWhispersOfMySins 10/14/2015 - 7:59 pm

Nice to see you again although at the same time its sad to see anyone on a suicide site. I am glad some things are better and I hope counselling goes well for you.

SeeSmith 10/14/2015 - 8:07 pm

Hi. I’m making Turkey Sausage Saffron Lentils with Rice. I hope to start CBT soon. I only have 20 more pages of forms to fill out.

Beware the Tristezilla, my dear,
The jaws that bite,
The claws that catch!
Beware the Mf-Mf bird and shun
The frumnious Trixycat!

mindlessgamer619 10/14/2015 - 8:52 pm

In a world where the SP community has evolved in far greater ways that no one had ever thought possible comes:
Espemon!
Gotta catch em all! 😛

Trix 10/14/2015 - 8:55 pm

Hello M 🙂

I’m sorry for all the bad points. They sound very bad, although the good points sound very promising. I hope it’s not long before you can start counselling. It sounds like that’ll help you out a lot.

I had a horrible day, but a relatively nice late evening. I still want a hug and cry and a giant bar of chocolate, but I think I’ll settle for finally turning in for bed.

Mf 10/14/2015 - 9:09 pm

Not that it’s any of my business, but when that happens i go for a mixed approach. As in settling for a giant bar of chocolate on bed, lol. (self indulgence does have it’s good points)

Take a Deep Breath 10/14/2015 - 9:00 pm

Hello love. I am very happy for you and your ups 🙂 Try to hold onto those instead of your downs. I hope that Sp and its folks can give you even more ups 🙂

Mf 10/14/2015 - 9:11 pm

Can’t add anything else than was already said, i had a answer written and somehow forgot to press the “post comment” button like an hour ago lol. I really hope that you continue walking towards a better place for yourself (physically and mentally), good luck!

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