I have been tired of breathing recently as I don’t feel the same anymore. My entire life has been going downhill and I am falling apart. People around my school notice how depressed and lonely I really am but they obviously don’t give a fuck, they end up making fun of me because im always depressed and they also gave me a new nickname which is “depression”. So instead of trying to help me get better they just make fun of me because I always seem down and depressed. I honestly wouldn’t mind dying sooner or later because nobody gives a flying fuck about me anyways.
I have been going to the same school for several years and I am finally a senior now and there still has been no changes. Everyone has been really irritating and annoying me recently as I am just fed up and tired of everyone’s shit and can’t wait to off myself already. I hate everyone and everything on this fucking planet including my school as I am just so sick and tired of being so miserable and lonely all the time with all these fake friends of mine that I have. People have my fucking number but yet they only call me when they need something from me. Honestly if it’s one thing I’ve learned from this cruel and sick life of mine is that people only care about themselves in this world and no one else but themselves.
I will soon make everyone pay for this shit as they are the reason I am like this. If I do end up offing myself I want them to know that they were the reason behind this shit so they feel guilty for the rest of their fucking lives. Hopefully life after death is peaceful and I end up being a spirit living on earth so I can haunt all the fuckers I disliked and hated on this world. Life just isn’t fair..all the groups of “friends” I ended up joining around school just got me used, forgotten, and played with and I didn’t even end up making my own little group of friends which is quite sad. I feel like my life was just a waste of time and what is sad is that it has only barely started..
7 comments
Been there, in your situation, and i know it’s painful.
People are people, you can’t change who they are and as an atheist i dont believe in life after death, so i highly doubt you’ll become a ghost who hunts others.
The point of this comment is that it’s not worthy to end your life to make others feel bad.
Ok i assume they will feel bad, but for how many days, 7-8?!
No, in my opinion you have to live for yourself, follow your dreams, try to make things better in your life, and if it consoles you, that way you’ll prove that those people were wrong about you.
Be strong, S.P people will always be here to support you!
I to am an atheist, but it would be pretty sweet to just be a lost soul living on earth and just haunting all the motherfuckers who ended up forgetting you and ignoring you and most importantly treating you like shit. Also thank you I’ll try to see what I can do I’ve just been like this for to long and I haven’t see any changes in my life..any who I appreciate your comment..
Six-ish more months and
Your world
Will change
For the
Better!
…and, to be honest, all your old problems will be replaced with a new set of problems, like where to go to college. Most people find this to be an exciting new start anyway.
When they hand you that piece of paper at graduation you will feel so good! And that will be a big step towards getting the fuck away from the idiots that plague you.
Safe and great new journeys to you!
People have been telling me that lately that life does end up getting better after high school but who knows. That is probably the only reason why I haven’t ended up killing myself yet even though I am still in a lot of pain. And thank you my good sir, may you also have safe and new adventures coming your way very soon.
I dont usually talk about my past to anyone. Since i will break one rule i made for myself ill make sure to punish myself later for breaking it. I dont care if u will ever read this comment or not but Ive seen the world in ur eyes.. Now id like you to merely have a glimpse of my life back then. Now live my memory.. In school, all my years i have been severly bullied both mentally and psycially. In school i was the punching bag.. The nobody that even the worthless made fun of. I had no friends due to the gang which i was their favorite pray. They made sure i stay alone by harassing and beating anyone who help me or even talk to me. I had phobia of people.. Anyone who touch me or hug me i felt like the urge to run or freak out. I used to throw up just by hearing school. I used to shiver, cry at night and sweat thinking of tomorrow and how they all will surround me and beat me or make fun of me. And Oh believe me i tried to stand up for myself.. Its just their number was too much and they were armed with weapons as they threat me to even hurt my family. I had bad marks due to my run aways in attempt to avoid them.. I used to cry and tell my teachers but they all gave me that loathsome look, thr exact look my parents gave me .. The look of “what a cry baby, shut up” or “ohh here we go again” they jst kept telling me go back to ur class or wave at me with their hand like get out. I used to give my money to students to make me change my seat because my seat was close to one of the leaders. So i was fraigle, pale and skinny with baggy cloth. In home i used to be harassed by my older brother as he loved dominance, my sisters loved to watch us fight, or me getting beaten by my bro. My dad was a military man, he was extremely strick and believed in confrontation so he thought if he let me deal with it alone id become stronger while yelling at me every day to man up… Friends? Happiness? They were more of a dream to me that even in dreams they seemed.. Unreal. I began to show alot of illness sympomts as a reflection of the mental illness i have acuired thanks to my school because you know.. There is a point where ur body will become sick just like ur mind. Why didnt i suicide? Oh believe me it was my hot topic every single day, until today.. But you see, i am a coward..I wished id become crazy.. Atleast then id have an excuse to run away or lock me in asylum where i can be at peace. But no, i had to relive those tragedy every day both in my sleep and in real life and take medications. Now you’ve seen a “little” of my schooldays. I want you to know that even if my story sounds a nightmare, which it is.. Id like to think there are people who have worse situations. So, i hope hearing someone having a worse situation can lift ur mood abit.
I honestly appreciate you for taking your time and typing this up just so I can read it. And yes, I did end up reading every single word of it and I am truly sorry you feel that way and how you are also being treated like a piece of trash. I honestly hope it does get better for you and
you get somewhere in your life. I hope it gets better for you and be happy you are out of school and don’t have to expirence any of these nightmares of your again. Take care and hopefully you see the brighter side of the world…while I’m still here struggling for a better life.