I’ve come to believe that medication and therapy are nothing more than distractions and lies meant to blind people to the truth.
When I view society, it’s obsession with reality television, celebrities, and it’s influence on buying happiness, I see proof. When I watch the news, I see horrible disasters. I see people dying, people being murdered, people being slain. I see greed, pain, and suffering. I see war, drought, famine. And of course, what do they always do after these stories play? They find something trivial to distract you from the issues of the world. They tell you about Beyonce’s latest album, or some dipshit story about a puppy being rescued by an elderly man, about a class of fourth graders baking cupcakes to raise money for charity. And for most people, this alone is enough to prove an adequate distraction.
When I flip through channels, I see advertisements encouraging you to buy- this thing will make you happy, this thing will make your life better, this thing will make you feel better. But the problem with buying something new is that eventually the excitement you once felt at obtaining a new thing wears off, and soon your’re left having to buy again in order to feel that same excitement at having something new.
And so.. I feel the same way about medication, therapy, hospitalization. What more is it than lies? I mean, think about it- a chemical (or several) that go into your body and change your brain’s natural chemical composition to…
…what someone else thinks it should be like? What someone else defines as normal? What someone else dictates you should feel?
Who is anyone to tell you that your desire to end your own life is not valid?
Because, of course, normal people don’t feel this deep, endless ocean of sadness, of misery, of despair. Normal people don’t hear voices, normal people don’t do.. whatever you do. Normal people don’t pay attention or even realize just how bad the world they live in is. Normal people ignore the problems of the world. Normal people comply with society’s demands, normal people buy buy buy shop shop shop and feel happy, so why don’t you? Why isn’t this enough for you? Why isn’t this life enough for you? It’s good enough for her and him and her and his son and her husband and her daughter- it should be good enough for you.
It’s lies. And I fear them. Because medication makes you forget, it makes you forget how terrible and all-consuming that pain is. It makes you forget how worthless a life spent in captivity is. It makes you forget that there was something so painful that it was worth ending your life over.
It makes you forget that the world is so disgusting a place you’re better off enjoying an eternal rest than continuing to suffer while others gain off of your misery.
And the more and more I think about it, the more suspicious it sounds. After all, a medication that not only changes how my brain works, how my body works, that I have to continue to take everyday of my life and pay for out of my own pocket, and that if I stop I’ll be worse off than I was before?
No thanks, I like my azure ocean, I’ll prefer to drown in my own mind. I can breathe down here, I can see clearly here. It’s beautiful. And when it’s time, I’ll finally be able to close my eyes and drift away from this world forever.
4 comments
I don’t watch TV, so I miss that stuff.
I mostly see people working in soup kitchens, or volunteers helping veterans deal with addiction or depression, or strangers coming together to build homes for the disadvantaged, or people protesting the militarization of the police, or academics writing papers and doing statistical studies that prove that women get paid 11% to 18% less than men, or scientists that come up with a novel way of treating iron deficiency in Thailand, or retired businessmen helping uninsured people get Obamacare, or musicians giving concerts in the park for free, or any number of average guy/girl engineers that make mass communication possible.
Don’t get me wrong. I think parts of society are wrong and broken. In fact, if you asked me two weeks ago I would have given you a long list of things that a wrong. I just know, ultimately society is a thing, neither good nor bad. It all depends on how you look at it.
In the end I believe the world is an illusion and our consciousness is an artifact of the ripples in spacetime.
Today I happen to be enjoying the ride. Tomorrow, who knows?
I find the endless stream of adverts dull and mind-numbing. I feel the same about actual programmes most of the time, so I don’t watch much TV. I watch more since I’ve become more tired lately, but usually it just isn’t engaging enough. And like you said, a lot of it seems trivial. I also avoid the news a lot nowadays, though I end up feeling guilty when I stop paying attention to it. I feel worse sometimes seeing the terrible things people do to each other.
It’s natural for humans to want people to comply to society’s demands and vision of “normal”. We couldn’t have a functioning society if we didn’t share some common ground. I don’t really think medication, therapy etc have that goal in mind. I really believe that people generally offer those things to people because they want them to feel better. Isn’t the desire to die essentially the desire to leave behind the pain? People who create or offer those treatments are trying to do the same thing. Having said that, there are some instances where money is a part of it too. But generally I think it’s driven by concern.
I think a lot people do pay attention to the bad parts of the world and work towards resolving them, although people are often more concerned with their immediate lives. Being or feeling normal doesn’t mean that you’ll be under society’s spell. In my case I think of the idea of recovering from depression as the possibility of feeling like myself again. I don’t see the experience of being “normal” or that of being “abnormal” as the ability to see the truth, but in many ways depression is a huge limitation to me. To feel normal again would be to feel more than that all-consuming pain.
Your post touched my heart and almost made me cry.
such a well written post here… that last paragraph scares me… I’m sorry.
in society people need to generally fit the mould. You described society quite well in your post. Society is sick. Since society would rather dump you on some kind of medicine… they try and tell us ‘your the one who needs ‘fixing’… Seeing truth doesn’t need to be fixed.
i feel that society doesn’t really give people a choice – fit this mould or there is something ‘wrong’ with you… This must be why i am seeing a post like this one.
These ‘normal’ people are yes, blind to the truth. Their head is stuck in the clouds. Maybe i’d only want to be like them so life would be slightly tolerable. But think, these people will die not knowing the truth about society. In the media you can see people are being brainwashed to have no/loose morals, be ‘mindless’ – aka not think for themselves..