So this is what I said:
Why do you ask?
Every week either gets progressively worse, or, it’s just the same droll, hermetic, life I don’t enjoy. I’ve lost everything but half my job. How could life be anything other than bad? I’m the loser that everyone laughs at. There’s no reprieve from the pain, so, I cover my costs and I shoot my dope (don’t get me started on all the precautions I take, I’m not trying to leave XXX yet). Thankfully, I haven’t been to jail or overdosed this week, which is good – considering my family doesn’t talk to me anymore since I refused inpatient treatment after the first death scare. They’re the reason I went to jail after the second overdose… No one would come get me from hospital since I was incoherent and unable to walk after stopping my heart.
But nah, this week hasn’t been any worse than any of the others. In retrospect, I was almost worth a shit this week. Almost. Had I seen XXX, I could probably even brag to everyone about pretending to be a dad. Apparently our lawyers decided I need to clean up about a month before I see him again. Something about I don’t get to see him for a month… idk. None of this makes any sense to me. We’re beating a horse that’s been dead over 100 years now because we don’t all understand that turning your back on the problem only makes it worse.
The other day I got a fortune cookie that said, “this isn’t the end, don’t give up.” If there is a God, she speaks to me in fortune cookies. It’s on my fridge. The ones I got today kinda suck though, so idk… I’m not really concerned with any “new romantic interests”. Probably just luck of the lottery anyway, and not the Word of God hidden in the crescent of a deep fried racist and antiquated traditional fast food novelty. However, an overwhelming excitement for my next batch of drive-thru Chinese has already begun.