this is the last time.

One of the biggest issues in western society is a lack of community. Belonging to a close nit group of people, a click, weather its religion, or hobby, or even just being from the same country, brings a sense of belonging and identity. If you really want to try to find the reason to live another day, give community a shot. Find some people just like you. Try the meetup app/web. There are groups started for all sort of activities, car meets, hiking get togethers, or even just going to a coffee shop as a group and hanging out and drinking coffee. Sounds to me like what you really yearn for is community, to fit and be part of an organic group.

We are too individualistic in the west, when we can actually be stronger and better in a group. We are social creatures, and although i know some here have huge issues in life, and death maybe the only possible solution, but i also see a lot of posts here that hit on this subject, of loniness, seperation from society. Find your self a group, weather through social meet up apps or a church.

Sports, a great way to meet new people while having something to do. There are online groups for all sort of sporting activities, frisbee, football, soccer. Try your favorite sport with one of these groups. From what ive seen, they will describe competitiveness level and just going to check it out is worth it too.

Good luck