Perhaps my life! Am I actually very pessimistic or is the world way too unrealistic? Somebody tell me please. I find these words like “hope”, “happy endings”, “it gets better” and “optimism” sweet and nice when I read books or watch movies. When it comes to real life I guess these are cliches over-hyped by people who have never been where most of us have been and even if they have, they have this natural ability to just get out of things happily. You can’t ignore real problems and circumstances. I have gone through a lot and I haven’t been any braver or stronger as they claim in their literary proverbs. Does it make me any less of a human that I am not as confident and strong as somebody else in my condition is supposed to be? And if that is a serious flaw inside of me, I don’t have the slightest clue what to do about it. I’d love to know what can practically be done other than to pay the price of my weakness all my life.
My brother just gave me a lecture on how my negative thoughts are sinking me down. My brother calls them pessimistic while I call them realistic. He went on to say that I’d have a very very miserable life in the future (like it isn’t any miserable now) and he or others wouldn’t be there to look after me anymore.People around me keep telling me about everything about me I already know. In fact I know much better than they do. I am living such a life that ones who love me are going to pity me and the others who hate me are going to laugh at. I am sorry. Life tests us,right? So I failed. I failed like millions in the world have failed in their schools and universities. So why can’t people wrap that around their heads? I am nothing and will disappear someday for good.
My family gave me all that they could and I couldn’t even give them a smile in return. I know I am a horrible and a despicable person. I have a pathetic life and its going to stay that way forever until I become “positive” or “hopeful”(which is what my mother constantly tells me). Even if I assume the slightest part of what she tells is right, why don’t I have the biological ability to be even a little positive? Anyone else here who found out a miraculous way to be positive? My mother says that there isn’t a single problem without a solution. I think she is dead wrong.I’d love to be hopeful but there really isn’t any hope left for people like me.
2 comments
From my perspective, you are wiser and more bravely real than those around you. To help you cope, I suggest Nature. The beauty of landscapes, trees, sky and water. Our society has become so estranged from Nature, which is healthy reality, that they don’t see how plastic they have become.
Please do not give up on a special person, that person being you. You have sensitivity. You also have depressive leanings. So do I. But, at least, we are real.
All the best,
Vedura
“I have gone through a lot and I haven’t been any braver or stronger as they claim in their literary proverbs.” I think the fact that you are still standing shows your courage and strength, and it’s a necessary trait you have. There are many kinds of bravery. Even when someone feels they don’t have a ‘real’ reason to feel suicidal, living (or existing, as is often the case) is an act of strength in itself. And purposefully choosing an act and committing to it takes a courage of it’s own…
Where am I going with this? Not sure, really. I don’t believe anyone gets to live happily ever after, but contentment and peace can be achieved, even if they are short-lived. There have been several people on this site who came back to say their lives weren’t so dark and they weren’t in such a bad place. That’s what it means to get better. I think there’s nothing pessimistic about being realistic as long as you accept the possibility that things could improve as well as get worse. I do know that improvement is usually a lot more difficult to achieve. That doesn’t make it impossible. But I don’t think you failed.