Change isn’t helping

So I haven’t been on this website in a while now. But I’m just in a bad place right now. I went off and started college and I thought everything would get better once I got away from the environment I was in,but everything just followed me. I started talking to one person who really wants to help me but the person is someone I can’t just entirely call up out of the blue and I don’t want to bug them with my problems because they have their own life and our relationship isn’t like that. And now I’m sitting here debating on what I’m wanting to do right now because I’m not able to handle this constant pain and numbness in my life and I just want out. I can’t handle my life anymore. And I just can’t be here anymore. I hate it here and I can’t be here.