I’m afraid I’ve gone bad again. Well let’s be honest… I was never fine.
I’ve quite my job where I had to handle all the sexual harassment from my boss.
My “friends” don’t really reach out to me. I kind of don’t care yet it hurts .. does that make sense?
Still planning on my second attempt.
I did buy an anxiety toy so I can at least deal with that somehow.
But to be honest. The day for me to go seems closer and closer. Slowly.
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I am so sorry you are feeling this way. What is an anxiety toy?
What I basically ordered was like a stretch ball, which i can squeeze and obviously stretch to try to calm down.
I know the feeling, things get worse again even though they never really got better.
I got harassed sexually all of the time by a coworker, not my boss, but it still sucked. I’m also a dude, which meant my complaint about it to HR was ignored.
Eh, my friends only ever reach out to me when we play D&D, which is probably only because I’m the DM. I get it though, that not caring while it still sucks. It’s weird, to say the least.
I’ve survived an attempted gunshot wound (gun refused to fire), hanging, and two ODs, I’ve got plans set up for my next and hopefully final attempt.
They aren’t toys, but video games help me out a lot when my anxiety starts getting bad.
I start every morning thinking about whether I am going to end it that day.
I’m saying all of this so you’ll know that you aren’t alone. We don’t have any answers or a cure for anything, but all of us are here for you.
Thank you for sharing all that.. I bet being a guy and being sexually harassed was very difficult.
Thank you, Hazy, for asking that necessary question here so the rest of us didn’t have to. Couldn’t read this without thinking… “wth is an anxiety toy?” Never heard someone use that term before. Although I did assume she meant a stress ball or something.
Well, at least you’ve escaped from that job, although that could be a negative thing in some ways I guess, depending on circumstances. But, ya know… close one door to open another and all that jazz.
If you’ve gone bad, maybe it’s only a matter of time before you go good again? Although that’s not quite how it works with food. But we’re humans, right? We’re not food, not yet at least. So… make of that what you will.
Sorry to hear that, Alex. I’m glad you’re not in that job anymore but sorry the boss got away with it. I hope something turns around for you soon.
Sorry that you are feeling that way. But I want you to know, that you are not alone. One day I was sick, I was at my office alone, and co-worker came and touched my neck in inappropriate way. I was not prepared for that, I took his hands off me, I was alone and I did not know what to do. My boss made me cried some day before with another injustice. They made my life miserable at job, they wanted me to quick, they did not have the courage to fire me. I was totally out of reality and sick, with my trust in people lost. Who will protect me? My boss? Really. After that, I have been sick, with a bag full of mix emotions. Thousands of personalities coming alive in just one body. Who to trust? Who is out there for me?
Music have been my company and the best therapy ever. Music have been the best way to express my emotions, to liberate my should, to fix the pain, to bring hope, to liberate the stress, to make me stronger and keep me going.
Keep going, write and write, it helps a lot. There are plenty of places in the web, like this site, plenty of strangers with good thoughts and good feelings. Find a new job and trust again, even is difficult, do not lose hope.
My boss did touch me places no one should, unless you’re dating or married you know .. I tried to push him away but .. sometimes it just wasn’t happening. I am glad I am out and I do have another job, in which I get paid way more and I am not alone with a man which makes me feel way better. Music has also always been my therapy for having depressive episodes though never was aware of my anxiety until later and now I’m able to at least do something with it.
I do like to write .. a lot.. which is why I really like this website as well as I get to know people that are going if not through the same stuff, similar and it’s sad yet nice to know I’m not alone out there.
you are very right, i am here also to find i am not alone feeling like most of us do on this site and this is my therapy and it has made me feel better , although I probably don’t look any better (just a joke) signed>>> veryfrustratedwithbackpain