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Feeling Sober

by They Call Me Amy

I need to write a letter to myself, so I can read whenever I start shaking, sobbing and attacking myself.

I was doing fine. This just makes me feel worst. Oh, dear brain how I wish you were calmer.

All of those rage moments make me bleed, break stuff, beat the shit of my face, and sleep doesn’t solve anything.
I need rest.
And I am sorry for my behaviour.
I am so sorry.
I always get blind from my rage.
I need to grown up.
Feeling twice as guilty, I’ve told my boyfriend I’ve scratched and cut myself, and he told me that he made a promise, so everytime I cut, he will punch himself in the stomach.
I’ve never felt this guilty I guess.
Sorry.

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Hazy Day Sunflower 11/25/2015 - 3:19 pm

Your boyfriends solution isn’t a solution. It isn’t about him. But I understand how he’s trying to assist you in stopping. Its an addiction. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour. Keep talking it helps a lot.

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