Hey you! Yeah you! Wanna know something before I continue on with this thing? You don’t? Well piss off, I’m doing it anyways. This is going to include more than just her, it’s going to be myself as well. Maybe a deviation from my usual style, but maybe that’s a good thing.
Her hair is pulled behind her hair in some sort of braid. It rests perfectly behind her neck and trails down the back of her blue shirt. She’s ignoring me right now, but that’s okay. At the moment she’s manning the register and she’s doing something that I’m confused just looking at. This menial task, something that no beauty or grace should be found in, has been turned into something of an art. Something perfected after being performed more times than one cares to count. It’s almost soothing to see her work, the way she’s totally comfortable in what she’s doing. Those eyes, usually so captivating, have been captivated by the bland task ahead of her, and I love it. Something in me snapped a long time ago, and now I see her here, just working, and it makes me happier than anything has in months. Maybe those clothes she is wearing are meant to be bland and unnoticeable, but when she wears them they become the single most beautiful articles of clothing this world has seen. They seem to compliment every slight curvature of her body. Their colors work with the natural tones of her own skin to create the beautiful picture I’m trying to depict. It’s not the clothes that make this change happen, it’s her. The simple aura she seems to exude, an almost palpable thing that can either lift your spirits, or break your heart. She raises you up when all others thought you were irretrievable, she makes a man contemplating taking his own life think about why life is still worth living, and most importantly, when she smiles, you smile. Sadly, or maybe luckily, she doesn’t realize that she can have this affect on others. Doesn’t seem to see what just her presence will do to lift the pressure off the backs of those around her.
When I see her, my heart beats faster in my chest, the world slows down a little. Then it happens. My head seizes, along with my muscles. I want to release that tension so damned bad that I’d nearly break my fingers to be rid of it. Yet I want to feel this every day for the rest of my life. I want to see that face I know so well every day, even if it brings on the worst agony I’ve ever known. I can’t tell you why I want her so bad. Maybe it’s something I control, maybe it’s something above any mere man. Either way, I am at the whim of my desires, and I’m trying desperately to fix what chances I once had. The chances I ruined when I became entranced with that smile, the way it seems to light up the room, no, the whole damn world. When I saw that hair pulled behind her head, her face perfectly visible to any available eye, I was a gonner. I’ve had dreams at night of being closer to her, just being able to talk to her like I once did. Maybe that’s all they’ll ever be, just dreams, but I can’t accept that. I can’t live with thinking that I really don’t have a chance. Not when she’s saved me from my lowest lows, and brought me to my highest highs. Not when we’ve shared our deepest secrets. Especially not when my heart still beats like it’s about to burst out of my chest when I think of the time we kissed. I can’t let go, and I just don’t want to.