I know someone will understand

I absolutely hate how I can push and try and feel a little better one night then the next morning when I wake up it’s like an elephant on my chest and I am depressed that I woke up. I try and tell myself it’s not so bad but the physical part of anxiety and depression hurts so bad, add in OCD thoughts it it’s like living in hell. Medication doesn’t help, therapy doesn’t help. All I want from life is for once not be upset that I woke up. To feel a sense of normal. I am jealous (and happy too) when people post how meds help them and they feel better. I wonder what it’s like? I am going to try force myself to at least get out of bed and get on the treadmill. Something in my life has to give.