This isn’t about self pity, and this isn’t about what brings me down each day. Because if I could tell you what was wrong with me, I wouldn’t be on this site. I’m just naming some things I’ve done wrong that I seem to keep doing.
- I’m too brutal. Little bit of a joke for you metal fans out there, but what I mean is that sometimes I’m a little too upfront and frank about how I feel. An example of this is when I liked this certain girl, and she’s really shy, too dumb to notice that though. So I went about my normal, honest, approach and to say the least, didn’t work out too well
- I get attached quickly. I often place a lot of importance on people that don’t place a lot of importance on me. I don’t blame these people, it’s my mistake and not theirs.
- Every time I get a new female friend I go through a phase of having feelings for them. There’s several people on this site, not all of them are still around, that can testify to this. It’s on me, not them.
- When I go crazy, I go Crazy. When I get what I guess you can call manic I go absolutely insane. Lately I dealt with it by whacking a metal pole in my basement with a baseball bat. I felt better after, but I don’t think I’ll be able to use that bat again.
- Words come out differently than I meant them. Most of the time this is a texting mistake, which is probably common for a lot of people, but in the past it’s happened in person. I was talking to my friend about something and made too harsh of a comment about it, but I meant it jokingly. Not a good idea.
- I get compulsive. This goes along with numbero four. When I get compulsive the littlest thing can set me off, anything really. Sadly I am like one of those people who get reminded of their ex by just about everything. *insert that one meme that perfectly describes this here* That’s all I can think of right now, but I’m sure I’ll be remembering something in two minutes that’ll make me contemplate whether it’s worth editing this post or not. Either way, thank you folks. Porky, play me out buddy
15 comments
1) I’m going to go ahead and throw your human card for you.
2) See #1
3) BTDT (also see #1)
4) I need to borrow the baseball bat, basement, and metal pole.
5) Stupid shit falls out of my mouth constantly (see #1)
6) one word: Kayaks.
Thanks hazy, seems to me you’ve been having a smilar time to to mine, at least in the fact that you’ve been on a high lately
Yeah pretty much. When I come down from an extended time like this, and if I haven’t heavily monitored myself, I tend to look back and SMH at the impulsive crap I do. Almost like I have been binge drinking.
Just wondering, do you get the random bursts of adrenaline too? Because they can be the most annoying fucking thing
all day long. Today. I am simply exhausted but buzzing so hard that there is no way I am going to sleep. It is taking everything in me not to drink all the beer and wine in the house and pass out. I take benedryl sometimes to try to come down or sleep. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 to just stop moving. This has been really relentless this week.
Gotta say, physically taking it out on something. Feels good. Sadly, I do not have an endless supply of baseball bats
I’ve been cycling in 12 hour or so cycles, but I’m not coming down. I am going from cheerfully scraping the cat shit off the floor with a putty knife to screaming obscenities at people. But I am managing to stop the screaming after maybe three words and take a breath and say sorry. Hence the treadmill. I had it on a 15 incline of 3.8 and just killed myself. I have been imposing character limits on my posting, limiting it to just support and not some lunatic rant concerning sticking a gun in my mouth.
This is why I absolutely will not own a gun.
Too quick reactions due to random bursts of mania. Jesus Hazy, we’re fucked up. Thing is, I’m here for you if you need anything. Also, guns seem fun, but I find archery better.
I don’t think I would trust myself around that either. I would want to shoot someone with it on impulse. I dream sometimes I am beating the every loving God out of individuals in my life. Thing is I never win. I need to be packing in my dreams so I win a couple mortal combat dreams. Like Indiana Jones “seriously dude, the sword, yeah BANG”
True enough. You see, we’re the kind of people they pass gun control laws for
LOL. I would argue we are the kinds op people they pass a lot of laws because of.
I was a real peach when I was younger and didn’t feel the need to filter anything I said or did. My life has become much easier since I decided to go under cover. I learned how to blend in with the ladies, very handy I might say. Complimenting shoes and pointing out matching handbags goes a long way with people liking you, which is just so mind boggling shallow it makes my teeth rattle.
Blending in… Foreign concept to me, you must teach it to me some day. Sometimes it’s better not to filter yourself though
I’ll think about blending in for you. It takes a clever mind and a strong stomach, Night!
All the benedryl I think kicked in I’ll catch you tomorrow. Or I might be back in an hour who the hell knows right?
Night or maybe not. Either way, thanks for the conversation Hazy