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Mum, Dad

by alonelybird

You make me feel so shit. You try to help me but you hurt me. You guys make me feel so depressed. You’ve killed my social life, my only respite from home, my only coping mechanism that seems to work without being overly self-destructive. How can I cope now?

No dad I cannot fucking talk to you, can’t you see?
Every time we talk I stutter. Can’t you see? I’ve never been comfortable around you guys, that’s why I’m always trying to escape. That’s why I do the things I do. It’s all to escape from you guys (mainly) and school.

You guys make me wanna kill myself more than anyone else and you’re not even abusive.

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6 comments

mato42 11/28/2015 - 8:46 am

“The path to hell is pawed by good intentions.” It’s just some saying from around where I live. We find a way to hurt our beloved ones the most when we try to help them. Maybe a college could be a new start, if it’s possible. A college far, far away.

alonelybird 11/28/2015 - 9:31 am

Interesting quote, you must live in an interesting. Yeah that is my greatest hope really. To someday move out and get away somewhere.

Hazy Day Sunflower 11/28/2015 - 9:25 am

I was raised by the worst kind of narcissist. I’m unclear if there is any good kind of narcissist. The only escape is living well and independently, which is so very hard when you are dependent of the people who are the source of your grief. I see you have your computer (or smart phone or tablet) so either they aren’t technologically smart enough to truly isolate you, or they aren’t in the business of truly isolating you. Which means you still have online outlets, which although might not be as gratifying as IRL enjoyment, can allow you to blow off steam rather than blowing your brains out.

Keep talking, man it helps so much. Thank you for sharing.

alonelybird 11/28/2015 - 9:37 am

Well I’m sure there are different types of narcissists. Yeah dependency/attachment is a bummer.
Yeah though online outlets don’t work very well for me I don’t think.
Thank you both for replying

Trix 11/28/2015 - 1:44 pm

How did they kill your social life? I’m sorry they’re causing you so much pain.

alonelybird 11/28/2015 - 11:48 pm

They grounded me. I don’t really have any other ways of talking to my friends so I’m fairly isolated

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