Never Going to be Fucking Good Enough for you, am I?

November 28th, 2015by Take a Deep Breath

No I’m not your son and I’m not a total car guru and whatever works for your bipolar episodes doesnt always work for me and you pick on me all the fucking time and I already know, ok, I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW I’M THE WORLD’S GREATEST PIECE OF SHIT FOR A DAUGHTER SO PLEASE, PLEASE JUST KEEP RUBBING IT IN. I know I forget and I am not always home and I’m SO SO SO SORRY!! I don’t know how to be the child you want, ok?I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW. And I just try to get away from you because I don’t know who you want. And I’ve tried to fit into so may molds- and I don’t know. You say you love me and you’re proud of me- so it must be true, but fuck you don’t show it very well. I’m so sorry I forgot- I’m so sorry I’m not your perfect son and I don’t always want to be filthy dirty and I don’t want the family business and I have a life outside of ours at home and I tried for so FUCKING LONG but I never seem to get it. This is why I should’ve killed myself- so I woulnd’t get un the way. I know I do, you remind me of it. My room could turn into your model airplane room and the bills would go down and you woulnd’t have to deal with your bipolar fuck up of a daughter anymore. I’m never going to be good enough, am I? And it’s all my fault- I forget and I seem like I don’t care and I didn’t mean it and I’m so sorry dad. I’m sobbing on my keyboard and I’m so sorry I am not who you wanted.

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