I live to enjoy luxuries like gaming and other interests.
I live to see my family… and I want to take care of them once my life is in a stable position.
I live to make something out of the life that I have. I feel pathetic and useless for the most part because I’m freeloading off people when I could do something more productive to build up for something better that will help me repay my debts to the people most important to me.
I live to pursue my interests in the future.
I live to live, pretty much. I want to experience life, a healthy and enjoyable way of living than being stuck like this.
I live to see the day when I can finally say that I’m no longer depressed.
What keeps me going:
My family (well… my sister, mom and two dogs)
My passion, curiosity, dreams
My friends from SP
Music (specifically coldplay 😉 )
Drawing
This is silly, but i want to change the school system in my country.
Hmm, I live because I am scared of things being even worse on the other side. Scared of dying in general because it is the unknown, and the primitive part of my mind balks at suicide.
I live because as much as life hurts, there’s little tiny thread of hope that maybe things can be different. Maybe I can feel different if I actually work for it (which I don’t feel like I can do).
I live for moments like this were I find a place where I feel understood and accepted despite my thoughts and desires. I live because it hurts to live, because I am only human and am scared of the day that my existence (along with all my suffering) will fade into nothing and no one will remember jack about me.
What I live for even after my recent attempt you ask? Well I guess since I will be stuck on this planet for quite a while longer, I should inform my purpose… I created a list for easier understanding…
1. Visiting the Land of Morning Calm/Rising Sun once again.
2. My baby sister(s)
3. The Suicide Project
4. Galaxy Exploration
But a question to myself, could that be all….?
I really want to live to see a day when my depression lifts. Once when I’d been more ill physically for a while, I got up one day and suddenly managed to stand brushing my teeth without needing to hold onto anything or sit down. I cried because I was so pleased. I remember that moment really well because I felt just the slightest bit happier, so it’s clearer to me. I want to feel the same about depression – feel it really lift. I believe it can get better. I just haven’t made it work yet.
Among other reasons there’s Mum, Dad, someone I love, another person I love, getting past my anxiety, getting to know my half brother more, learning to be a better, happier person, being able to step outside with no anxiety or pain and go for a run, and being able to help people someday.
The main reason I live: this biological machine is for the most part self-sustaining, and complete neglect is difficult. By rights it should have run down by this point.
I’ll stop it’s heart at a later date because I’m ornery and I keep odd convictions. They don’t matter much, but they are there. And in this strange device there is still a faint pulse.
I live..
I live because perhaps I’ll find purpose to all of this..
Maybe I’ll find love.. Idk.
Maybe I’ll figure out if Trey can coexist with T.
Maybe I’ll finally be happy with my image.
I live because maybe..
Maybe I’ll finally improve my life, and my overall condition..
13 comments
I live to enjoy luxuries like gaming and other interests.
I live to see my family… and I want to take care of them once my life is in a stable position.
I live to make something out of the life that I have. I feel pathetic and useless for the most part because I’m freeloading off people when I could do something more productive to build up for something better that will help me repay my debts to the people most important to me.
I live to pursue my interests in the future.
I live to live, pretty much. I want to experience life, a healthy and enjoyable way of living than being stuck like this.
I live to see the day when I can finally say that I’m no longer depressed.
To ease the pain of my father.
Or to easy my father’s pain. Sometimes it’s hard to tell! 😛
I love someone
Peace.
Grandma. (Mostly) everything else are just distractions.
What keeps me going:
My family (well… my sister, mom and two dogs)
My passion, curiosity, dreams
My friends from SP
Music (specifically coldplay 😉 )
Drawing
This is silly, but i want to change the school system in my country.
Hmm, I live because I am scared of things being even worse on the other side. Scared of dying in general because it is the unknown, and the primitive part of my mind balks at suicide.
I live because as much as life hurts, there’s little tiny thread of hope that maybe things can be different. Maybe I can feel different if I actually work for it (which I don’t feel like I can do).
I live for moments like this were I find a place where I feel understood and accepted despite my thoughts and desires. I live because it hurts to live, because I am only human and am scared of the day that my existence (along with all my suffering) will fade into nothing and no one will remember jack about me.
What I live for even after my recent attempt you ask? Well I guess since I will be stuck on this planet for quite a while longer, I should inform my purpose… I created a list for easier understanding…
1. Visiting the Land of Morning Calm/Rising Sun once again.
2. My baby sister(s)
3. The Suicide Project
4. Galaxy Exploration
But a question to myself, could that be all….?
I really want to live to see a day when my depression lifts. Once when I’d been more ill physically for a while, I got up one day and suddenly managed to stand brushing my teeth without needing to hold onto anything or sit down. I cried because I was so pleased. I remember that moment really well because I felt just the slightest bit happier, so it’s clearer to me. I want to feel the same about depression – feel it really lift. I believe it can get better. I just haven’t made it work yet.
Among other reasons there’s Mum, Dad, someone I love, another person I love, getting past my anxiety, getting to know my half brother more, learning to be a better, happier person, being able to step outside with no anxiety or pain and go for a run, and being able to help people someday.
The main reason I live: this biological machine is for the most part self-sustaining, and complete neglect is difficult. By rights it should have run down by this point.
I’ll stop it’s heart at a later date because I’m ornery and I keep odd convictions. They don’t matter much, but they are there. And in this strange device there is still a faint pulse.
I live..
I live because perhaps I’ll find purpose to all of this..
Maybe I’ll find love.. Idk.
Maybe I’ll figure out if Trey can coexist with T.
Maybe I’ll finally be happy with my image.
I live because maybe..
Maybe I’ll finally improve my life, and my overall condition..
My mother and I hope to see my depression and anxiety lifted.