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Post natal depression

by dollydolls

in so tired and depressed, last night I told my husband I hate my kids. I do love them but I’m so depressed and not coping with the sleep deprivation from the babies. All last night I cried and cried all I was thinking about is walking to the train tracks and ending it!
I have a black cloud hanging over me and I feel guilty as I have 4 beautiful kids who need me. My heart is breaking and my head is all over the place

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5 comments

theWhispersOfMySins 11/26/2015 - 5:35 am

Have you spoken to a doctor? You mentioned in a previous post that a friend diagnosed you, not a medical person. There is help and it sounds like you desperately need it. For your kids, sake please set up an appointment.

dollydolls 11/26/2015 - 6:54 am

I’ve had pnd 3 times previously so know it’s that 🙁 I love my kids and do everything for them yet I’m unlucky to suffer this after having my babies. I’m scared to see my doctor , I broke down to my mum and she is coming over in a bit to watch the kids whilst I shower and wash my hair. I feel like a failure and it hurts as I do really love my kids x

theWhispersOfMySins 11/26/2015 - 6:57 am

Why are you scared to talk to the dr?

dollydolls 11/26/2015 - 7:43 am

I’m scared they won’t be able to help, over the years I have tried so many antidepressants it’s unreal , I fear there’s no way to get better

Hazy Day Sunflower 11/26/2015 - 9:14 am

@dollydolls: You can’t do this alone. Not with 4 children. While I am glad that your mother is coming over so you can wash the baby sweat and poop off your body, you absolutely need to tell your OB/GYN about this. I almost had a psychotic break with the birth of my second child because I thought I could power through what is essentially a chemical imbalance in your brain. Yes I know you have been this way your entire life, me too, and I totally get the entire fear of medication not snapping you out of this, btdt, but, and this is really important, what it will do is give you breathing room to regroup and take care of your newborn, who absolutely needs you.

Okay speech over. Now this: Okay is the baby cute? They smell like a little slice of heaven here on earth don’t they, almost better than baked cookies. Almost.

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