I’m thinking about doing it tonight. I’ll probably be a coward like the last few times, so don’t worry too much. However, in case of being successful I want to wish you the best. You’re all great human beings who deserve to be happy.
I have a few hours to think about it. But I’m scared. I’m afraid of succeeding. But I’m also afraid of not being successful.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
9 comments
Blackdog,
This is Rocketman, you are not COWARD! Taking your life is a big decisions! THAT YOU CAN’T TAKE BACK! you should think carefully about it, you deserve to be happy as anyone else, but you don’t deserve to be happy either none of us do! we have that choice it’s up to us to make it happen, whether you live or die doesn’t matter just like me to the universe ! it only matters to you, i’m not talking you out of anything that’s really the only choice you are in charge of, but i’d think twice about it, life is not a bowl of cherries for anyone, never will be, accept that and keep going or give up your choice, i make that choice everyday and i’m still here.
@Blackdog, I heard somewhere once that there is no courage without fear. I think the fear you’re feeling for either possibility is part of it. I just don’t know which is more courageous; to live or to die by your own terms. Either way, what you ever chose, they’re not options of cowards. These are questions for people who are brave enough to grab their lives with their own hands.
@blackdog: Such a lonely journey you are preparing to take. Will you be spending time with us while you prepare?
You have talked before about being sorry for failing and disappointing the people in your life. I cannot imagine that they would be less disappointed by your suicide than if you told them that you cant cope with your chosen field of study. I think that you want the pain to stop but death is not the only option 🙁
I feel I have an angel and a devil in my head right now. And maybe the angel is winning because I just told my friends I’m not feeling good.
I know my family would prefer anything to my suicide. But they wouldn’t understand how I feel and I cannot tell them I’m having suicidal thoughts.
Even if somehow I finish my degree I will never get a job. I will never be a normal person because of my social anxiety. And it’s not just that. I have no hope for my future. I’m bisexual too. Although that isn’t a problem since I’ll never get someone to tell my family.
Perhaps is the depression talking and making everything worse than really is. But either way my feelings are real.
Good luck, Blackdog. I don’t know what the answer is for you, but I wish you all the best. You deserve happiness too, and I really hope you find all the happiness you deserve. Depression does make the future seem bleak. If you can put aside those thoughts when they come to you, it might be a burden lifted. Don’t take on more pain or worrying than you need to. I hope your friends help you feel a bit better today. Whether it’s your day or not, please know that you’re not alone.
@Trix, maybe they should add a like button in this site/forum. I would be liking your comment if it had such an option. 🙂
Thank you everybody. I decided to give it one more day.
blackdog, I feel that way too and I can’t talk to anyone about my thoughts except on here. I’m glad you will give it another day also and I hope you finish that degree. I feel like you do too, not normal, no hope, not knowing what to do. and I live it.