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Borderline personality disorder

by khajiit

Occasionally I come across declarations on the internet where people proclaim having borderline personality disorder and attempt to project it in a positive manner to promote “mental health awareness”. I feel bad for these people because they’re clearly idiots and have no knowledge of what they’re actually identifying themselves as and don’t even recognize the ramifications of labeling themselves as that. I’ve had many experiences with individuals who do genuinely have borderline personality disorder and this is what it really is —> an asshole disorder. BPD is defined by having volatile outbursts usually involving verbal abuse tied to the individual’s extreme fear of abandonment as well as emotional manipulation produced by the latter cause as well. It is literally defined by having “unstable relationships” and you know how they make it unstable? They are violent, aggressive and merciless when triggered. Their being triggered is mostly caused by themselves as they over analyze, magnify and amplify any evidence – even the most vague – that suggests a person is going to abandon them. The people I’ve known who have had borderline have threatened to disembowel themselves if “abandoned” and also as characterized by the disorder will resort to retaliation – which has been manifested in them telling me they would beat me to death, paralyze me from the neckdown to make me suffer “the most horrible life” as well threaten to kill people close to me. They go through rapid alternations between angry and good-natured which puts extreme emotional strain on their partner and overall their behavior insinuates an incredible amount of disrespect to their partner. Everyone can control their actions, sorry folks, everything you do is YOUR fault, so they intentionally act like terrible, brutal people and use the BPD diagnoses as a fallback to justify their actions. BPD is literally defined by being an asshole, if you want to tell everyone you’ve got a permanent asshole disorder that’s fine by me, but you look fucking stupid and everyone should avoid you.

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Hance_Soelow 12/1/2015 - 12:40 pm

@russo, I have been diagnosed with BPD and I totally agree with you. What you said best describes my last relationship which was 5 years long and 3 years ago. I literally gave my girlfriend then heaven and hell then despite her almost unconditional love for me. 3 years into the relationship, I realized that there was something terribly wrong with me. So I decided to visit a psychiatrist for everyone’s sake, mine and her included. I was then initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder. For this, I took maintenance meds and regular consultations.

5 years into the relationship, she couldn’t handle anymore my extreme mood swings, and verbal and emotional abuse. She found another guy and left me. I was devastated, and as you say accurately, due overwhelmingly to the feeling of abandonment. I then committed my first completed suicide attempt but I ended up waking. The overdose failed. I was then sent to a mental health facility and rediagnosed as borderline after a battery of psychological tests.

I’m telling you this not because I lack shame for it and/or I’m hiding behind my anonymity. I’m telling you this since I want to tell you that I am extremely sorry for everything you went through with a BPD like me. I can just imagine what you went through and I know now and empathize with the pain and suffering you endured. No words can make up for all the wrong done to you.

It is my sincerest desire, that with mine telling you this, you can find hope in people like me taking and committing to the long road of recovery. I don’t want to put anyone especially those I love and love me through the painful rollercoaster that was loving me.

Today, I take a new set of maintenance medications and I have followed and visited my psychiatrist regularly for the past 3 years. I haven’t met the next girlfriend, hopefully the wife, even though I have tried time and again. Maybe this time they can smell the BPDness in me. But I know now myself well enough that I have greatly changed for the better.

Again, my sincerest apologies.

Fro-not-so-zen 12/1/2015 - 1:43 pm

People are a mixed bag. When I was dragged off the mental hospital years ago for voicing my opinion on suicide, I was given a diagnosis of being mildly bipolar. I know I’m strange. If it were the 1800’s I would simply be known as a fool. The lifestyle is the same, where people like me kind of float around on the fringes. And that’s why I ignore everything the buffoonery that is psychiatry has to say. By changing the language to make it sound like someone’s behavior can be treated like its a common cold is perfectly ironic given the times in which we live. Forget it and stay away from people who bring you harm

HatedGirl 12/1/2015 - 3:43 pm

Well idk wat i got but part about abandment i fear nice on explaing what it is and every r aholes sometimes with or without it

avidsmoker 12/1/2015 - 4:42 pm

Yes people with BPD are a bit tedious. Feels like I have it at times, I am paranoid and confrontational. I had a friend who had bpd, and when she was having and episode, she would approach conversation in a very defensive and combative way. I could always recognize it, and I stopped humoring it. She literally stopped talking to me because I wouldn’t indulge her insanity. These people are difficult and dramatic, best to leave them to their own devices when they’re having an episode.

muspelhem 12/1/2015 - 6:22 pm

Tbh I think that’s a bit simplistic. I’ve met people with it, and I’ve read about it. Yes, these people have very turbulent relationships and tend to divide people into those that are with them or against them (hence the unpredictable behavior fluctuating between sweetness and malice).

On the other hand, the person I knew with it WAS actually very sweet, and very vulnerable. I mean, imagine how painful it must feel to be unable to trust those closest to you because you keep changing your mind about them?

I agree that it is very damaging to those close to them. But these people didn’t choose to be that way – no one in their right mind would.

muspelhem 12/1/2015 - 6:25 pm

Imagine literally having a mind that makes you prone to push your loved ones away. That sabotages the relationships you need the most. These people don’t WANT to hurt their partners. They do it and then they regret it, and then it’s too late, and they’re alone (again). And the cycle can repeat itself. Ad infinitum.

nepheliad 12/1/2015 - 6:54 pm

A personality disorder is not a full-fledged mental illness though, right? Isn’t that simply taking together a bunch of people with similar symptoms and slapping a label on them?
Each individual person’s reasons for being distrustful or having abandonment issues will stem from sometimes wildly different causal factors, which is why I think that typing based upon “undesirable” or “exaggerated” personality traits is fundamentally flawed.

Telling someone “You have BPD,” will do nothing for them – no, what they would need is intensive therapy to try to ascertain why they feel irrational anxiety, distrust, paranoia, and fear over abandonment or attachment, and assist them in overcoming these fixations and hopefully living a normal life (possibly with the additional help of medication).

mysteriousvisitor 12/1/2015 - 8:07 pm

Two thumbs up for this comment.

Morris 12/2/2015 - 12:00 am

This post made me laugh out loud. “BPD is an asshole disorder”.
Of course this world is filled with asshole s & mentally deranged people. So what?
You think the homeless guy sleeping on the sidewalk can “turn his life around and be whoever he wants to be”? Can he even get a job at McDonald’s?
Can a mentally challenged person get an A in algebra?
Can a woman ever learn to parallel park?

We’re not all created equal, maybe that’s why life isn’t fair. Would you tell a retard to “just snap out of it and be smart”, or tell someone who’s 4 foot 11 “you can join the basketball team. Just pretend you’re 6 foot 10”.

We all have limitations, and you can’t expect others to live up to your expectations of “decency” (if they lack the capability to do so). Mental illness is real, and there’s lotsa f**ked up people on this planet. Welcome to Earth.

Hazy Day Sunflower 12/2/2015 - 12:08 am

I thought this was rock bottom Morris.

nepheliad 12/2/2015 - 12:39 am

? Did you think that was offensive, Hazy? What Morris says is very true and yeah, all the therapy or medication in the world won’t always make someone act the way others expect them to be.

nepheliad 12/2/2015 - 12:48 am

(As a side note to Morris’ examples: Of course it depends on how “mentally challenged” a person is when it comes to learning, and yeah, women can parallel park.)

Hazy Day Sunflower 12/2/2015 - 1:03 am

Um…that was worded wrong. It should read: @morris: I thought that (in reference to the “welcome to Earth” statement) was rock bottom. Meant in humor as in “welcome to (earth)rock bottom. I was being snarky. i’m a little foggy tonight. I don’t think any of this thread is offensive. I’ve worked with people labeled as Borderline, and they are really hard to work with. The personality disorders according to DSMIVR (it is no longer in the DSM as an axis two diagnoses) are rigid personalty types that are typically resistant to medical intervention and only a lot of Cognitive Behavior Mod help to instill any real change. Truthfully they are used way too much and carry a huge stigma. The parallel comment was off handed but meant in humor so I just cruised by it.

This is a contentious topic that few even in the medical community can agree on. I intentionally didn’t comment on this seriously because I think that it is asking for a lot of circular emotional commentary.

So I guess the answer is, no nothing in the thread including the OP I found offensive. But then again, I may not be the best litmus test since I find very few things truly offensive.

Morris 12/2/2015 - 1:06 am

@ Nepheliad;
My point is this: We’re not all created equally. There’s someone out there (a lot of people) who are taller, run faster,who are smarter, better looking, faster swimmers, better memory, higher IQ, healthier, better vision, more “well adjusted” to society, better teeth or nose, etc.
It doesn’t matter. Life is only a competition if you choose to play by the rules that society has implemented.
According to society, success is….. what? How much money you have? “Love”? Family? Accolades? Recognition?

Are your thoughts your own or have they been provided for you by somebody else?
Why does any of that stuff matter?

Morris 12/2/2015 - 1:19 am

@Hazy Day Sunflower;
No offense taken. I didn’t understand your comment at first, but you explained it well, (I get it now), and I usually forget what I’ve written seconds after hitting the “post comment” button.
You’re cool. 🙂

Hazy Day Sunflower 12/2/2015 - 1:21 am

@morris, yeah that original comment sounded so much better in my head…

Morris 12/2/2015 - 1:33 am

@HDS; It’s all good.
Next year we can all meet up for a Thanksgiving Day food fight. That’s what dysfunctional families do. Suicidal online communities should have their own Jerry Springer moments, ya know?
Hey! Do you know any strippers? Invite them!

nepheliad 12/2/2015 - 1:19 am

@Morris Exactly, and that’s why I respect people who are comfortable in their own skin and don’t feel a need to live up to the societal pressures of their surrounding environment. You know, I think that human beings should try to treat one another fairly, and if a person can be self-aware and realize they are being an “asshole” like the OP says and try to be a more decent person, that would be good. That being said, it is admittedly very difficult to change oneself (mental illnesses or not), so ultimately, perhaps it’s best to hang around those who one can mostly get along with and avoid those who aren’t on their wavelength.
(For instance, an individual who some people may think is insensitive and a jerk may be considered hilarious by another who ‘gets’ that person. I’ve only seen the pilot episode so far, but the TV show “You’re the Worst” is a good example of that.)

theWhispersOfMySins 12/2/2015 - 1:33 am

Although it’s sad to see you back on a suicide site, it is good to know you are still around. I have missed your writing and that blunt, sarcastic humor.

abisslover25 12/2/2015 - 1:51 am

My son has BPD. It really is the asshole disorder. By his 3rd birthday I checked him into a hospital because I was afraid to sleep at night not knowing if he was going to try and kill his siblings or himself.
I had a family member say “it’s like United States of Tara right”? I wish!! Multiple personality and BPD are two totally different things.

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