I’m killing myself before I go back to school. How? I don’t know. I just know I am. Everything is just adding up to being a crappy year. I’ve had so little to hold onto. Depression has hit me like a semi truck, anxiety the wheels that ran me over. School is terrible, I pushed my friends away, my ex gf got cancer, and to top it off, we were supposed to go on a skype date but she fell in love with someone else. So yeah. I have nothing. No will to live.
To my friends: no. This was not your fault. Many of you tried to help me but it wasn’t working. I do not blame you for a second.
To Alyssa: I hope you survive your cancer. You were the best girlfriend any guy could ask for. you calmed me from my panic attacks, my nightmares, and when the depression acted up you cheered me up. But in the end I was never good enough. You broke up with me so I wouldn’t be heartbroken if you died. But then you fell in love with someone else. I always told you that you deserve better, and it finally happened. You are an amazing person. If you survive I hope with a full heart you get your dream job, have the 2 kids you want, and live a full life. Ich liebe dich Tiger.
To the lucky guy she fell in love with: if you hurt her I will climb out of my grave and put you in it.
To everyone else: I’m sorry.