Just a word

Hello all, it’s been years since I last visited this site, under a different Alias. I wanted to share my experiences, maybe to give hope, maybe just to get things off my chest. I’m a male, mid 20’s. I was emotionally and physically abused, and I lost several friends (and a loved one) to suicide, and I myself attempted thrice. I was shattered, broken, and in a dark place. I felt unloved, unnecessary, and evil. I used to cut, and still get the urges whenever an episode strikes. I just wanted to say there’s hope.

I know it’s hard to believe, and nothing I can say will convince you all that it’s true. But by putting one foot in front of the other, by trudging through the muck that’s life, you slowly dredge yourself from the slime and get better bit by bit. Life will not be perfect, it’s going to have its downs. I know, I’ve been knocked down again. I was charged with a DUI, my girlfriend (who I was going to propose to a week after )broke up with me, I lost life savings and had to move back in with my parents. I’m not happy, I get episodes that debilitate me. However, I found hope, a desire to go on, to spit in the face of my depression and get better.  I am a simple man, I have no gift with words, but I just wanted to let you all know as hopeless as it seems, as tough as it gets, you CAN beat this.

I understand the pain, the hopelessness. I know nothing will be the same as it was, but maybe that’s a good thing. The strongest people are the ones who overcome diversity, and trust me, I know from experience, you all are the strongest people out there. To keep trudging through all the things you’ve seen and had done to you. For what it’s worth, I love you all, and I firmly believe you can and will beat it, even if it seems tough now. To all those we’ve loved and lost. Te Somnia Nostra Reducunt