So it turns out that I’m on antidepressants now, a weak dosage. It’s not doing anything and tomorrow this when I’m going to see my doctor who prescribed them to me to gain my dosage because it’s not changing my depressing and suicidal thoughts.
Right now I can’t stop thinking about slicing my wrists open and seeing my crimson blood run down my arms, the urge is too strong. It’s all I can think about and I hate it. I’m trying to fight through it for my best friend and my family.
I feel scared, hopeless, I don’t even feel like I’m in my own body.
I feel like there’s no hope, like no one will even miss me when I end my life. I’ve been plotting how I’m going to commit suicide because I know it’s going to happen soon. Pills? Probably. By a noose? Maybe. I have no idea what to do with my life anymore.
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You have friends and family, and they will miss you when you are gone. That’s a fact.
Antidepressants, like most medications, take some time and experimentation before they can work.
Until they do, best thing is to try to distract yourself with anything else, music, movies, videogames, etc.
And try to keep away from the sharp objects. No need to tempt yourself.